choose your drug
your brand
drift into *** with meaningless women
the bite of liquor
the tang of ecstasy

choose it now
you'll need a crutch

generation gone
face half-remembered
select it now

the deepest of wounds need to be covered
tonight

let your drug consume you
take you away

for one moment,
*forget

"You had better look after yourself."
I am not the one in need of help!
To turn an eye to the struggle turns me into something I am not.

An advocate,
A teacher,
A model, firefighter, ******, student, musician...
What am I missin?
What have I got?

Without material things... who are you really?
Do you know why anything sings?
Or that if we don't change we will suffer severely.
Do not fear the unknown.
Walk towards the dark until you know, shedding your energy like light, with you wherever you go.

Sometimes I look at the veins
Sprawling through my arm
And down my wrist
I wonder how you
Got in there and
I wonder if
That's why
They're
Blue

when i sleep, i dream. when i dream i

i am lost in the woods little bird lost in the woods alone in the woods
so small so young so green
i grow
as i have grown
as i will grow
my mind melts
mutates
i am someone else
i have lost all meaning
everything has lost
all
i am grown
i have grown
i will grow
as i float i am growing
as i fight i am growing
i remember little bird
lost in the woods alone in the woods
all alone
all
who am i? who was i?
who am i becoming?
have i forgotten?
or did i ever know
and where is the future
where is my future
why so intangible
why so unmanageable
where is the knowing
where is the sense of stability
where is the meaning i was promised?
who promised
who said
who
left me alone, all alone, alone, little bird, alone in the woods,
who am i?
(then in a hundred different voices) who am i?
where am i?
why am i?

when i sleep, i dream. when i dream, i am lost. i try to stay awake
to hold my mind awake
an object in motion will stay in motion
oh let not me rest
maybe if i stay awake
if i work harder
all the time
i wont lose.

he asked what I wanted to do. I said
write poetry
or
die.
he said
they were the same.

I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to reduce fractions, and no matter how difficult it is to memorize the periodic table. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of a vulture. I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the ***** whale, and the ***** whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.

I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where we once were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from slim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don’t see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and no matter how I am discovered after what happens to me as I am discovering this.

I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world.

I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.

I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.

Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.

Life will never end when you are in it.”

We dreamed of becoming more than what we were.
And we escaped in the smoke that filled the room.

Our souls trapped...
Jailed behind our ribcages.

So we sat there...
Changing out the records.
Mouthing all the lyrics.

Waiting for the perfect moment to speak words.
Those times never came...

Instead we became more silent.

Inhaling the smoke.
Exhaling it all the same.

And I sat there wondering what else was out there.

I felt so comfortable in your surroundings.
Too high to realize what was really going on.

I broke the cycle.
The routine of a roller coaster ride that wasn't fun.
Longing for something more.
Wondering if I deserved better.

Even when I thought you were the best...
I started to question that.

My love for you may never die...
But my addictions did.

My tears brought on the clouds.
And I had to follow the sun.

No more.
No more tears.
No more love to give to you.

You are just a soft person,
Trying to fit your fragile bones
into a hardened mold
Last time you pulled away from me,
You told me three hours later that she
Whispered in your ear again,
"I don't know where my tempers gone,"
You said
And I understood
The way,
You used to bite your tongue until it bled
Just to stop your voice from boiling
Over your lips like hot lava,
Erupting loudly,
and burning the earth
As soon as they collide
Now you just look into her eyes
With such a silent apathy,
She could hear the pins dropping
In your mind
Last time I held you,
I could almost taste her name
In your shakey breath
You swore it didn't live there
Anymore
You swore you didn't live there
Anymore
I wanna believe that's true,
But I think you'd still
rather homelessness
Over shelter between
Any arms that you've never been
Homesick for
And I'm
Just not there