I fell in love with the way you
leaned over the balcony
railing and held
the universe
together

Lately I've come to see
that the reason behind
the empty journals
and blank pages
lies within the hollow sound
of my barely beating heart.

Because if we're being honest,
and we are,
I felt you drifting away
from a forever we laced together
with sunshine
and lavender scented sheets.
And the worst part is,
all I could do was watch
as you floated from my arms
into hers.

And with my dull brown orbs I was no match
for her electric blue ones.
I guess we're meant to lose some battles,
but every time my phone rings,
a part of me wishes it was you,
calling me to tell me
that you missed me as much as I missed you
and I swear,
I would rip out my heart
in the blink of an eye
and hand it right back to you.

Because truth-be-told
I'm tired of being numb.
I'm tired of trembling hands
and blank canvases
on stifling summer nights.
So if I could be by your side,
if even for a minute,
I would give up everything,
I would run back to the small forever we shared
to feel whole again,
to feel anything again.

But my phone will not ring
and my heart will not feel
until I find something
that lets me heal.

So for now,
this is our goodbye.

we are celestial bodies,
separate entities
pulled together by the
scent of lilac sheets
and hazy sunshine.

inhaling the words
i exhaled,
his decree was
to heal the wound
i spent so long stitching up.
but somewhere
between the flowery sheets
and warm sunshine
he'll be my downfall.

but i don't regret
ever letting him
reach deep down
to pull out the girl
that once smiled at sunsets
and laughed like hummingbirds.
because of him,
i have learnt that letting go
is something i might have to do,
but the journey to the top of the mountain
was beautiful.
and the man that brought me there
was even more lovely and lonely.