written December 9, 2015

"You're like super glue on my heart
I can't stand you and I apart
You mean more to me than you will ever know
And all I can do is attempt to show you
The imprints you leave on my heart, like a pillow that indents slow and smooth
The things you say, the things you do
I really can't get enough of you
Stuck in love they may say, but I'm stuck on you day to day
You never leave my mind, that's a fact
Please don't leave, please come back
You mean the world to me, and I need you to know
You're the best thing that's happened to me
and I love you so"

written November 26, 2014

"You have an impact on me like no other
A simple sentence sent over the phone is powerful enough to react feelings of overwhelming joy and love inside of me
Melting away my soul, leaving butterflies in my stomach and making me wish I was with you more than I ever have wanted"

written November 5, 2014

"I get jealous of your ex lovers
But, I have to remember X is just a number
You see, in math that's all we do
We factor out every situation until we find the solution -
X

But, just like the fed up kid in the back row who screams out, 'Miss, when are we going to use this in real life?!' and she stutters on an answer
X is just a number, not an answer to your solutions

I keep thinking about her face on your woman crush Wednesday
How am I so crushed knowing she once was the apple of your eye when I don't even know the girl?
Much less, know you..

Met on an app called Tinder
Yet you hinder the strings pull me in so tightly with your sweet and kind demeanor
It's not right of me to be jealous - when you give me all of your attention

I need to be grateful
For I am the one you're up all night texting
And the one who's on your mind when you fall into your lonely bed at night
And she's just a forgotten face remaining on your Instagram page"

written October 8, 2014

"But what are you supposed to do when you fall in love with someone who's already in love with someone else?

My anxiety rose as the thought of you coming inside approached me, ripped my breath out from under my lungs and had me scared to pieces
all to be in your presence

You're too sweet to me and it's leading me on but it's not the same as it once was, you see, i'm single and you have a girlfriend of eight months
I can't believe the predicament I'm in
I can't stand myself for falling for every guy who shows me attention but you, you were something special
Not one guy I know treated me the way you treated me
With so much love and care
I just can't wrap my head around it
Why I seem to still be in love with you
but I know that ship has sailed and it was a missed opportunity that I will always regret
And I'm so sorry for choosing him over you"

written September 24, 2014

"I'm not going to tweet and blog about how much I miss you
I'm not going to give u the satisfaction of exactly what I want to do
Yes, last night brought back memories
All the memories and feelings we once forgot
But if there's one thing that last night taught
Was that I cannot be with one who once made me distraught Conversations flicked off our tongues, we were conversing like we used to do
Nostalgia and old feelings filled my whole being, I really do miss you
But I will not go texting you telling you so
For I have grown smart enough to know
That would only be detrimental to myself
And for my health,

I mustn't give you the satisfaction of knowing that you still have strings tied around my heart
With every flick of the wrist - left right left right
My heart beats
Like a puppet on strings, you control my whole being
And like a fish on a rail, you know you have the ability to real me in at any time you desire
After all, my first time being caught was by you
You're an idiot in disguise, but why do I still fall for you when you look me in the eyes?
It's not right
For one to have the power while the other kneels at their throne begging for forgiveness"

written November 19, 2013

"Why do I feel as if I'm going to burst into flames - a growing spark that even the slightest bit of wind can't put out
The stress boils through my blood
The assumptions I branded into my brain have taken over me and my heart is racing
And so far I'm in first place
Because I can't focus on anything else but the presence of you and your little mind games - are you trying to make me fall in love with you? Or fall into your bed where you can make love to me?
These two questions jump across my corpus callosum
Playing hop scotch back and forth and back and forth
You see I can picture it my mind but logically, it makes no sense
That you would ever have feelings for me
So I'm torn between the ideas of love and lust and that **** you pulled Saturday?
It's got me contemplating my feelings constantly
My mind is supposed to stay present yet it wanders to the past to where my heart wants to be, back in your arms snuggling on the couch watching a movie
It's no doubt I want you
Yet, I lie to myself and say 'at least he's being a gentleman about it'
But no matter how many paid dinners for you to see the artisan in act, it will never pay for the amount of love I have for you
So here I am, type type typing the words into the lonely phone awaiting a simplistic three letter message saying 'hey'
Three
simple
letters
would make my heart grow
three
times
fonder"

written July 10, 2013

"Your eyes were black
Not the like the pavement we used to walk along during the day hand in hand
Or the night sky that was above us as we kissed under the stars
But like the liquid pouring from the coffee ***
Warm and content
Your smile was deathly
Not like the crash we saw on the highway as we were driving home from a movie
Or the raccoon we saw lying on the side of the street
But like my cat who died in her sleep
Warm and content
Your love was overwhelming
Not like the anxiety attack I had when I lost my keys in the park
Or when we couldn't find parking at the parade
But like the excitement on your face when I gave you your present for your birthday
Warm and content
Now when you left, I was devastated
Not like the feelings you felt when you were told the unfortunate news that your aunt had passed
Or like the times you got bullied growing up
But as if you physically yanked me out of your life
Like your heart was a trap door you were trying to hold shut
And three years later, nothing's changed
These letters I reread are worse than any death because each time I read the lines you once wrote
I die over and over again for your love
How are you supposed to stay strong and stand tall when you've already fallen?
Like a back brace, you held me up
You kept every little piece of me together so I wouldn't break and fall apart but when you left
It's as if the Velcro lost its stick
And I slowly started feeling the pain in my back
Slouching and trying to catch my breath for my heart was taken away
Just like my breath was, the first time I met you
Warm and content"