You dipped into me like a pool
you hadn't swam in all summer, a hole
in the back of your mind you almost forgot
was still there. It was as if you predicted
the big splash, the droplets like crystals
I could see through to your heart, reading
your feelings like a bestseller on a lounge chair,
basking in the sun on the side. You broke
through my surface with your hands, those hands
that strip me down to just my tan
and hold my ribs like a steering wheel, driving
our bodies together as I kiss the chlorine
from your lips. I'd wrap you up in a towel
just to trace the ***** of it from hip to hip,
use that momentum to tell you
how much I love the way your smile looks
when you think my eyes are closed
as we lay on top of the sheets with a fan
circulating in the limited space we leave between
my baby sundress and your khaki shorts,
our bare feet playing with each others toes.
I like the way your hands feel in my hair,
pulling it down the line drawn on my back
with your knuckles, landing in the dimples
of my back like a raft, floating
on the feeling suspended in this moment
where I bite your lip and you sigh into another kiss.
I like how it doesn't get dark until eight,
how you make little circles around my hipbones,
the sound of your laugh as it bounces off my own,
smiling into another push as you pull
my heart over yours into the shade to cool.

How did I end up here?
Plotting schemes of revenge over
late nights and countless coffee cups?
All because I couldn’t say no one or two
or three or eight too many times,
because why not?
Because age is just a number baby,
so why not hop in my car for a ride
that you will never forget
because you will regret it for the rest of your life.

Just like I regret you.
And every kiss, every touch,
every text, every late night that I
stayed up waiting on a FaceTime call
or for you to pick up the phone
but you couldn’t because you were too drunk
and I was too irrelevant for you to care
that I cared about you.

Because you entangled my thoughts
with silver woven lies that I heard as truth,
and I wouldn’t know the difference
because I don’t know what truth sounds like
and neither do you.

So how could you be to blame?
Lying is your nature,
like spiders ensnaring insects or
lions on the hunt, you prowl.
Searching for your next victim; your next prey.
Well there she is,
primed and ready for the ****.
As once was I, for I could not run.
I was caught in the hypnosis and
lure of commitment and feeling
Until I got my wake up call
from golden, chiming bells.
I was able to see the web
in which I was caught.

And when confronting you about your
spider-like ways, you denied
even though the guilt seemed to
emit from your eyes like
an exit sign telling me to
GET OUT NOW
because I still could.
Because it wasn’t too late.
And thats how I ended up here.

my world is crumbling around me
and all I can do is wait till its done
so I can pick up the pieces again

There he left me
Discarded
Without a word
Like a broken glass on the sidewalk
Pieces every which way.

Jagged little fragments
With no intention
Or possibility
Of putting itself back together.

I'm losing faith.