I'm a liar because
I pretend so much.
I pretend the tears are not yours.
I pretend your eyes are still green.
I pretend your face is not so pale
almost similar to a corpse's.
I wonder if you know, that sometimes —
sometimes I wish I knew
what love could possibly be.
I walk with paper wounds
and cardboard bruises
and I haven't learned
to keep myself from falling apart
when you tell me
to tell you that I love you.
I would want to tell you
that I never knew
that you could tear apart so violently,
that you could voice,
that your strangled scream could be heard.
An agony so sharp it comes visible.
Tangible.
Palpable.
I pretend to breathe
when it wrings your soul
out of your heart,
bleeding/battered/broken broken broken
broken.
But my fingertips brush yours.
Our arms are a tangle of scars,
we are a pile of bones
and we are not afraid
of each other's darkness
anymore.
Your eyes are fluttering
against my eyelashes,
your hands almost too scared.
I cannot let you know I shattered
when you shattered.
We're shattered words,
unsaid and unheard,
alive only in echoes and thoughts.
We're almost apart,
we're almost whole,
we're almost sure,
we're almost healed.
But my hands are too desperate
snuffing out the fire
because your eyes
are too use to the dark.
We're lying with the truths
that our eyes scream,
were drowning in the dust
that we're not afraid of,
we're not crying
(because we lost our tears).
We're flooded with emotion
but we're empty shells
cracking on the surface and we
collapse.
We collapse because
our knees buckle
and our ankles are disjointed,
all of our past is an ocean
and we're drowning again.
We're drowning until we gasp,
clutching at each other's hands
like it will be the last time.
We're seconds stumbling out of time,
we touch everything and everyone,
and we become their memory.
I grasp your hand and fit the image into a second, burning you into my being.
But your eyes are wide
as though you did not know
we stretch into the unknown;
that we are vacant terrains
standing upended
with empty pockets,
and your hair is too gold
in the sunlight
but your eyes are too green,
and they're screaming so loud so loud
so loud.
They are scared and and questioning me,
they're asking me to stay.
But all I manage is a whisper
because I lost my voice
in the whirlwind I was born out of.

Forever Is such a small word, love
I'll be with you until time ceases to exist.

i am not whole and you seem to be an almost
lie, an unreal silhouette, falling
over and over, your
vivid edges blurring into an
evanescent mist,
you do not know what it means to be human, but
our hearts still long for the wanderlust and
underneath the skin, our breaths still drag,
tangled in never ending tremors like
a possibility of us, knowing how to make it through.
let's not falter because we know about the
heartache, about the emotion undone,
about the breaths unraveled, about how you are
an empty idea of my unwritten poem, a
never-whole vagueness of the
distance suspended within our veins, within
your chest. I keep thinking about the untold secret,
onyx hair and eyes the color of an unknown hue
until the rainbow on the other side collapses.
do you wish to be deep enough to know
our accidentally misplaced
numbness / who is my
tether? I do not
know if I remember the sound of your voice, a
nothing dissolved in my emptiness, your
opacity scares me, I still
wonder if you care.

Your eyes are wide and unsure,
but your shoulders never sag,
your hands never tremble,
you have been taught to hide your heart
in the darkness of your chest, I know.
But unravel, I want to tell you.
Unravel unravel unravel.
We're wounded on the surface
but our insides are ravaged too,
we will scream this anguish
into our crumbled knees,
we will shatter.
We are rancor-soaked and
tattered bones,
we are fallen valor but
we will not let ourselves be pitied.
Our night sky carries the same moon,
not quite half, not quite yet full.
It's dangling with no visible strings
but the stars do not shine
from where you stand.
The stars are not as bright,
as if they can hear our screams
that we have contained
in our collapsed shells.

Colorful togetherness
Harmony in mellow shades
Resurrection of what was
Chances of love,
Spring of life
like a fresh newborn
Forgiving one another,
the key to all second beginnings.



Shell✨🐚