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Apr 19 · 255
The Musician
Giyanna L Apr 19
Lived quite a life
No expectations
Happiness is overrated
Joy is needed, but where is it

He would battle life
in ways others couldn't see nor be
New beats are always demanded
A melody is needed, he is it

Good isn't good enough
Spoiled and you're forgotten
The waves wash away
the traces in the flat sand

Not much sunlight,
just a cold yesterday afternoon
that struggles to welcome the night
and darkness appears too soon

(He's so naïve. It will come)

Only he knows if he's lost
or where to be found
yet he's the cold yesterday afternoon
that fights to stay warm

He's too naïve, a soul in the storm
a desire to shift and reborn
yet bound by fate, rough and torn
he lives to play and perform.
this poem was inspired by many podcast conversations with the people who work in the entertainment industry. also published on my blog.
Giyanna L Apr 15
The scent of creamy hot cocoa pervades,
creeping up my nose.
The childhood I never had,
a warmth I’ve never known.

The sound of the nocturnals humming a life worth living.
I imagine I am one—foraging, longing.

I inhale the smoke of burnt beans,
the bitter taste of an existence unwanted.
Empty expectations fill my lungs,
a cold sky, a fantasy hillside.

I exhale—half a hope
vanishing as if it never was.
I regret respiring
an act just because.

You choose, you privileged fool
pick one from the lowly hopefuls!
find your preference in the end
But just once, make amends!

See me:

A fertile rice field, ripe for harvest.
A single-colored pasture, silently sprouts.
Yet too uniform to be noticed,
too plain to stand out.

Use your senses, you peculiar bull
I'm crawling inside your skull!
Haunting, pressing your mind,
reaching those that unwind.

RECOGNIZE ME, CONSIDER ME, SPLIT ME, DISENGAGE ME,
CUT ME, SORT ME, ISOLATE ME, BOUND ME,
KNEAD ME, WRING ME, DIGEST ME, INFURIATE ME
THROW ME DOWN, PULL ME UP,
DISCARD ME FOREVER.

I'll be gone—like half a hope,
evaporating as if it never was.
It dissolves into mist,
in the cold sky, a fantasy hillside.

I'll return, as smoke from burnt beans.
A ghost beside the rice field.
The pasture with budding growth.
A whisper lost in cocoa's warmth.

The life I never had.
The luxury you wasted, driving you mad.
also in my blog
Mar 27 · 270
Desperation
Giyanna L Mar 27
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep

I won't sleep
I don't want to

Forgive the champion, he deserves the loss

Once in a while,
can't close my eyes

I want to put my hands around my neck
the grinding of my teeth
the air that I breathe

Stop it
stop it
stop it
stop it from flowing

I've been enjoying drinking
at six, seven, eight, nine, ten

watching the road from my balcony
listening to the drone of motor machines
I feel empty,
but am I not, constantly?
Mar 26 · 66
The Math of Misery
Giyanna L Mar 26
High dose of anxiety
Low dose of self-esteem

The word is 'depression'
The scale it caused is on top

No need for calculation
It's useless when your head is about to pop.
also posted on my blog.

— The End —