I try not be dumb
Stubborn and irritating but I'm the youngest

Looking through my black screen of my phone I can't push it back anymore so here's my story

My dad  is a liar, a coward and a **** I never wanted to believe in such things but once he stroked me with words like a bear tearing through flesh I realized

My mom is hopeless , kind, and love sick, she hurts and cries for a love she'll never by a man who will never love her

My sister is  a jester and she looks down with disdain on the world like a mad man would in awe

My friends are sings and minstrels I don't fit in and they travel going from place to place I can't keep up

My crush is my longing my hurt and my mirror I will never have not will I cherish him in such love for I am weak

So I'm looking through the black screen on my phone and see myself puffy eyes from crying, dulled  copper skin and in my opinion not a waste of oxygen. I know I'm selfish for being in a perfect school. I'm hurt but say nothing. I don't hate my life I just wish it would be better..

I want to replay the way your face changes in the light. Everytime time it turns from winter to fall. I keep talking about you, you know?

My thoughts say you'll hurt me like every man in my life will..but I know you're different. I can see it in your eyes. They play landscapes from the east coast shores.
And God I never wanted something so bad that I'll wait.

I've heard those words before but you're different from years ago. Just run your fingers on my body and lets speak a different language.

Show me you and how divine you are so I can open up and tell you my buried secrets.

Love me till tomorrow ends and tides whisper your name.

A dog knows loyalty

A female dog precisely knows if she is a good dog or a bad dog

All dogs know this but
lets go to human females
We use to be treated like dogs
We also hurt each other
We back stab when we know it
We take anothers lovers but  only because "she was  called pretty"

Look honey it's because of all the makeup....I'm mad I can see that but I've been like this for mouths

He's been gaking at her for a week and my eyes were in the sky
Looking at him as he loomed at her liked a cat looking at his next meal

What was I? The undesirable toy..well
Personally I was your friend who cared. You put me in the dump like an old toy and i still smiled

So let me just say I AM TIRED OF FEELING DUMPED
and now I'm just like **** that *****

**** this ****** up world
I am tired and hurt I don't want to be the female *****.

Dose not change my feelings maybe when I'm something to look at I will bet ypu he will look right back at me just like I once did.

Shy as a willow- o- wips  
Shallow as the forgotten
Monstrous as the devil they call me  
  
I am the thing that suffers from all pain
     from all knifes
       From all people
Calling me for what I seem to be
Teeth like crashed glass
Eyes like cold storms I am what you call  a nightmare, the thing you can't explain. The thing that is forgotten.
The thing that can't be seen.

I am everything good
Bad
Wild
Mad

I am the fire that dances through  forest  

I am the tumanies, hurricanes, and thunder
I soar
With my hand I can lay down lands
With my tears I cry down pure rain
With the sun at my command I can make it rise or fall

I am Noah
Speaking in the name of myself: godly
God is my companion and I am the stars

I was away
I destroy
I grow
I am a god
Catastrophic

Made to be Isis a goddess of purity
Made to me Ra the god of the sun and my companion.

****** hands
  Seated on a chair
  knife in his hands
I am a monster of abuse Lurking in the hall
I am your pain that clouds every hard time
I am your shame that makes you to never feel
I am what humans call cold hearted demon
No one wanted me
No one to love I to feel  cold even to myself
I play with you like piano keys
It's fun to know me is it not?

Your confession made me breathless
Your beauty made me love
Your heart made me pure
Your emotions to life made me captive

I was yours yet you ignore such a person whom love  thee?  

Foul foul boy such a monster to begin such a story

Young ones stay to find love
Young ones stay to feel love

Thy water is full
Thy spirit is full
Thy heart is pure
  


   The angel and the foul demon
          Live,  love,  feel,  untangle...

Tip toe ice drops makes the woman fall in love
First sight bright lights is all he ever knows

Crash together last forever  nothing seemed wrong
A man a woman "perfect  American  Show"
Tip toe over flow she's crying and dying
First sight brought lights another woman sleeps
Never know what he can do what he can say to hurt you
Secrets told trust is rust now her heart is broken

Love
I love, love
I think the feeling of being loved
The warm happy feeling that clouds the bad things and makes everything good
I love the way each time i feel a strange feeling
Not like butterflies
But flying for the first time
like anxiety for being brave enough to ask your crush

No the realization that that special someone has loved you back just as much
Has noticed you and was scared
Has thought about
Has seen you

I love the love I see in movies wishing it was that simple
Wishing it was just a companion thing
But no it's more it's a marathon
You work for it and you try hard
It's no Cupid's arrow he throws
It's dedication and trust and not being scared...

So I wonder when I'm going to be brave..but I'm to scared to love so I'll wait on the sidelines
In the park
At the trail
And across the street
For when I find the one
For when I can be brave
And when I'll actually talk
And not be afraid..

My mind calls for my insanity
Crawling into my sane side
My sane side wanting to cut and tear into me
making me remind me of myself

I Hove you I always want you to know

You are fire
My open wound  but can I forgive you?
In days I needed you the most you turn
In Days I thought you'd never listen you yelled
So I lied and I left lies in your eyes
I suffer for in vain
I suffer for now I pay
For all the depression and all the anger
Day where he would storm flood lands
turn pastures into barren lands
inconveniences into a storm
you did save us when you could and I'm proud of you
but my heart and my tears can't seem to forgive you
I'm sorry I'm not as perfect as I use to be or as strong as my sister's
But I will lie and make my little notes and pull hints when you yelled and blew once again

I love you
Even when we're down.
but can I forgive?

Sitting still hold our breath Wonder what is next
Too blind to see what's in their eyes
to hard to look not in discomfort because that's the smug look on your face?
It's hard to remember that darkness is behind us and the light faces us but still we forget where we come from
The ugly thing the pitiful answers never honor what  your heart says when they forget you.

In our deepest fear we stand still crying for a solution
For a chance
For our loved ones
We pray form a love so deep so trustful that we can never become the freedom that we created the brother hood that we controlled.
We rise and fall with the time we have thy weak ones suffer thy heart.
We stray like lost souls never  suffering but forgiving.

I come and go

Like a storm
Like a slumbering dragon
Like a eclipse

So I sleep it off
I sleep away the pain and become numb
I sleep away the worry until it becomes lucid
And I sleep away the thought of love and instead of  nightmares I'm embraced with the drowning sweetness of the void

My slumber is not peaceful nor is it kind but it keeps me away from  the mirror
Away from the looks
And the monster I call myself

The void can sweep me away as they pretend to care thus
He the void keeps me quiet and chained

The sigh of a crimson mark
     The sixth sense no one know the scared monster that he sees
     A blood stain
     How much more thus this boy have to **** to save a world so desperate needs
    No one knows the sharp pain that he feels when ever he walks
    No one knows how much he wanted to **** himself
       No not any one knows he is what they call the angles test.

Sitting still hold our breath Wonder what is next
Too blind to see what's in their eyes
to hard to look not in discomfort because that's the smug look on your face?
It's hard to remember that darkness is behind us and the light faces us but still we forget where we come from
The ugly thing the pitiful answers never honor what  your heart says when they forget you.

Hold a hand as warm and light
Feeling your touch as heaven's delights
Wondering where you are feeling now that i'm in the dark
Crying for a sorrow song knowing you're never here
feeling that you're going to disappear
Screaming and crying crashing and burning
Dead from the start but now i'll never hurt you
Waiting for me to drown waiting for you to come a sorrow song for me to you