To become happy seems like such a task.
The mind games which I forced on myself are destroying me.
No matter what I do they keep coming back.
If the tricks happen to be true that's okay.
That's okay the memories may be there.
The idea of what my future life will be like is all I need to carry on.
I'm gonna grow, I'm gonna become stronger.
Because that's how I want to live.

Well god, this anger swelling isn't what I was expecting.
I know where it's coming from, I know there's nothing I can do.
I just get angry that people are mistreated simply because of your ignorance.

Did you know?
At the center of the universe
There's a black hole

Which means
The heart of the universe
Is remarkably similar to mine

As I grew up I used to think "I want to be just like them.
I was ignorant and foolish.
But now that I've grown up, I've realised that being just like someone else isn't allways a good thing.
I'm still growing up, but I think I finally know how to get through this life.
By being me through and through, no more longing to be like another.

It's rather funny this thing we call pain isn't it?
The physical pain heals and leaves us with only a scar and the memory.
However pain from the inside leaves only to return.
When it returns it will hurt again.
It leaves the scar, the memory and the pain.

We feel better when the sky owns up to the bleakness of the world; it turns grey and endless and it cries with us. We hide from the sun because it warms our skin and lies about a better tomorrow. Ice bites our noses and rattles our teeth- it makes us feel alive but it too, is swallowed by the warmth we have taught ourselves to hate. We are fighting for happiness but waiting for the warmth and the flush and the laughter to end, that we might envelope ourselves once more in our depression, anxiety and pain.
But I am tired of my cocoon of misery; this atmosphere filled with the sensation of waiting for rain. You three are my best friends. I have made an astonishing number of mistakes in my life but loving you is not one of them.

So I will wait for rain with you.

**And I will revel in the sun when you find it.