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 May 2014 G H Goodland
Ashley
My stomach still gets tied in knots
when I know we are about to talk
And the problem isn't you it's me
Cause I still try and push you away
I just get so afraid
because I know
I couldn't live without you now
and
I never want anyone else

If you stay with me tonight
I can show you
what my dreams are made of
as I'll be dreaming of your face
You've been away for so long
and I've missed you
I can't imagine being anywhere but here
right now with you
I could sing you a song
But words put to a tune
could never explain fully my love for you

I fell in love from the moment of our first kiss
and the rest has been history since
Love is forever
and that's all I need
I can't promise that things won't get broken
But I swear I'll never leave
Please just stay here forever with me
I can't fall asleep
I lye awake in my bed at night
Just dreaming of you
and I fall in love all over again

The way we are is the reason
I'll always stay
as long as you're here
I know I'll be okay
I couldn't just love anyone
I was created to love just one
The things I get so concerned with
really don't mean a thing
Because my heart is with you and
I'll love you to the end
little girl
I want you to keep everything that makes you strong
I want you to treasure
the reason you can still stand tall
I want you to be wild
and free with desire
Ignore their calls, feed your fire

and little girl
how can you be hurt so many times?
your soul is young
you tongue is gold
I've never seen you yet turn cold
and I want you to stay
though you shan't be long
so hold your head high little girl
don't conform to the brokenness
let your creaking be a different kind
than the the overwhelming, the openness
that wickedness has dared to spread
little girl don't creep back with the rest
Keep trying your best
I don't want you left for dead

little girl
you are only 65
I'm telling you
you still have time
so hold on to your wits
and shine
and then
your glow might last my lifetime
I've been given a lot of advise recently from older people I will never meet again. I guess this would be my spiel to them.
my mother tucked me in one night

and i whispered her goodnight

as if i was too afraid to say goodbye

to her when she slept only ten aching feet

from me. i was brought up to

wish upon time; and i wished for the

moon just as a broken child wishes

that divorces were illegal.

as fathers hated the moon because

they couldn’t feel its presence

quite like the sun. as if they just 

gave away their limbs for the night

in a selfless act offered up to a

crying god who loved everything

he made and hated everything

he destroyed with

simple geometric words

that priests never wanted

to prove.


i laid awake on my light

blue bed with pillowcases

who cuddled with me through

the nights and caught every tear.

the stars whispered me

a poem that i once wrote

them and i swore that i

never wrote something

for things who had no purpose

in this meaningful world.

i held on to sand from the

moon and water from my

mother’s eyes; molding a

castle i will once live in.
my mom used to make me read her stories so that she could learn from me.
You were supposed to be
sunrise above the bluest sea,
a beautiful melody
my lifetime guarantee.

Instead…

You were a potholed road
A river that never flowed
An abandoned abode
A violent storm that made my world implode.
 May 2014 G H Goodland
obscure
flushed faces, burning at the touch
fluttering stomachs, an anxious gasp
tangled thoughts like our hands, intertwined
jumbled words that linger in the air
unsteady breath
weak knees
sweet, yet undefinable
Society's strange,
Throwing out judgments that make us want to change
You'll skip a meal to meet their expectations
A few more after that to see how far you'll go

They'll ask you why you're not hungry
And you'll make up some excuse
They'll take the words slipping off your thin cold lips,
as you look at the food on your plate but instead choosing the water in small sips

They'll catch on to the weight you've lost the past few months
The food you've tossed along with your old-beautiful thoughts
They'll seek to find you help, and you'll turn away believing this is "natural beauty"

Weeks go by and you're suffering more then ever,
You see yourself as something this world would never
Society's strange,
Throwing out judgments that make us want to change
Believing the judgment is hard to ignore,
But never seeing yourself as beautiful is more un-healthy then my words before
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