I once said
that I cannot, that I would not
move
forward

I once said
that it is impossible
to drop
my spear
and
stop
fighting

I once said
that it is unattainable
to cease
the war
I alone
was fighting

But as I've said
the words I speak
immortalized
by untouchable ink

My spear turned
blunt,
my battles
lost.
The fighting
ceased.

As I have lost,
I have also won.

For I am free
from the shackles of loss.

I am free
for I chose to let go.

Am I trying too hard
To forget what we did?

Am I trying too hard
To forget your touch
By accepting another one's caress?

Am I trying too hard
To forget your lips
By savouring another one's kiss?

Am I trying too hard
To forget about you
By filling the space, the void
You've left
With another man's matter?

Tell me if I am.
Because I don't want
To be the monster
You are

When you did the same

I close my eyes...

It's about the biggest mistake I did
It's the most fatuously done deed
An imbecile like myself
Again, got trapped with this trick

I close my eyes...

There I saw not darkness
It's not even one bit dimmed
But it was the greenest field and the bluest sky
Where there lay, you and I

I close my eyes...

Close... my hands are to you
Close... your breath is to my neck
As you breathe in my scent
I listen your heart's beat; loudened, quickened

I close my eyes...

There you are smiling at me
Holding me in your arms like a fragile jewelry
Kissing me like you own my lips
Oh, I'm robbed of freedom but brimming with glee

And now, I open my eyes...

Eyes that once sparked with love
Eyes that once glowed with passion
Now are woeful and bewailing
For the beautiful memory you've left me

I'll never close them...

Unless I'm worn out and tired
Unless I've cried enough at night
Unless my body whispers that I'm weary
Unless my body's quiet, cold and not breathing

Unless I am...

I will not close my eyes again.

Alam mo, ayoko na
Gusto ko nang huminto sa pagpapaka-tanga
Ayoko na matulala at sabay maiisip ka
Kasi alam ko na matagal bago ako muling makabalik sa aking diwa

Pwede ba manahimik ka?
Ang ingay mo lalo na kapag ako’y matutulog na
Bastos at biglaang papasok sa aking isipan
Na para bang isipan ko’y iyong kaharian

Hindi ka ba napapagod?
Sa kalalaro ng aking pusong lasug-lasog na sa iyong kapapaikot
Tuwang-tuwa ka pa at humahalaklak kapag ako’y iyong nabibiro
Pag sasabihin **** “last na”, pero sinungaling ka

Edi sa’yo na!
Sa’yo na ang kaligayahan at kalungkutan ko
Sa’yo na ang pangarap at kabiguan ko
Sa’yo na ang lahat ng ako, sa’yo na ang pusong laruan mo

O, ano? Ba’t tumigil ka?
Bakit ka biglaang lumayo kung kailan ibinigay ko na?
Akala ko ba sa akin ay nasisiyahan ka?
Akala ko ba sa akin masaya ka na?

Ah, ngayon gets ko na!
Gets ko na na mabilis ka pala magsawa
Pagkatapos ng isa, maghahanap ka ng iba
Pagkatapos **** manungkit, magtatapon rin pala

Ayan ka na naman at umaarangkada
Parang isang sports car na rumaratsada
Patungo sa mga babaeng iba’t iba ang klase
Iba’t iba ang ganda

Kaawa-awang kababaihan
Kasalanan ba nila na natipuhan mo sila
Bakit kung parusahan mo ng iyong matatamis na pekeng salita
Ay parang mga batang niloloko ng isang salamangkerong desperado kumita

Sana matauhan ka…
Minahal kitang tunay ngunit sayo’y lokohan lang pala
Sana sa paglipas ng panahon, makatagpo ka
Ng isang babaeng paluluhurin ka habang nagmamakaawang patawarin ka niya.

Hey, my name is…
Wait, you seem familiar,
I think I’ve seen you from afar.
Oh no, I’m sure I’ve met you before

I’ve seen those eyes
Those orbs, magnificent orbs
I’ve once seen them sparkly
I’ve even seen them fiery, I think

Oh your nose,
I felt like I’ve been under them
I felt like they’ve been on my neck
I felt like my scent was devoured by them

Those lips
Soft, sculptured lips
I think I’ve touched them before
Even kissed, but I’m not so sure.

But maybe I’m just stupid to think of the possibility
That you could be…
Anyway, hi…
I shake your hand and it almost did it

The feel of your callused palm, so warm
So firm, so gentle
So like someone
Maybe it is, maybe it’s not

Then you smiled.
Both ends pull apart, east and west
Revealing a face that made me hitch my breath
Finally it did it, but my breath remained held

It is you…
It is your eyes that made me see hope in love
It is your nose that sniffed away the fear
It is your lips that kissed me and made love

It is your hand that I held so tightly
Firmly holding on to the fantasy
That you are my prince charming
In this deceitful, cruel reality

I let myself believe that a gorgeous flower
Would ever grow atop the dead tower
Just like fooling myself that you’re real and will stay
But you’re a fantasy, too good to be true, as they say.

Then there was I, weeping for your goodbye
And I asked, “Did you ever love me or did you not?”
As the answer, you left me for another
The reason was the latter.

And here you are, in front of me.
Just like before, never changed a bit.
Same eyes, same smile,
Same physique, but with a different gal

My name is…*
Oh why bother,
I was just someone you left hanging.
Just a fool you seem to be forgetting.

Before, I felt something missing
Something lacking
A small empty space is in my heart
I can feel it, just a piece

Then you came like a raging storm
I did not fear you, I did not cower
Instead, like a moth to a flame
I drew closer to your fire

You showed me a lot
A lot which I cannot contain
My cup is full
Full of you, which by my own, I cannot gain

You filled that missing piece
You have given me more than I expected
More than I can handle
More than I was missing

Then just like a storm that is fleeting
You left as fast as you came
As strong as before
You left my land with a piece to live for

I was missing a piece before you happened
And now you left me, I’m all alone
Nothing but a single thing salvaged from the storm
A piece of me is all I have, is all I own.