for as long as I can remember
people have told me I'm poor at conveying my feelings,
they have told me I'm poor at expressing myself through words
             awful at confessions
                   ******* at honesty

my room is always messy
and I think my parents forgot to teach me the important things,
like keeping my room clean
and how to love people.

so now, I can't help but laugh at the hidden irony
that I scribble words in secret
about things that they never knew
                          will never know
happened

I doubt they ever imagined I would
write pages about
that play I did when I was eight
in the hand-me-down costume
and handmade hat
and how my best friends mother was in the audience, but not my own.

So, maybe you don't know how important it is
that I have to wait until you are asleep
to write you messages about how I feel about you

but you don't know
when you're in the shadows sleeping peacefully
that I'm trying to craft my emotions
into badly worded poetry
and I'm so, so sorry I'll never be able to show you

memories of the back of the car hang onto my clothes and I can smell them in my hair

you'll always look out for me because I'm 'your girl'

ha, yeah...

and honey bees are pretty
but they leave stingers in your skin

you are so many firsts for me
you are the beginning of chapters
whereas I am the flick of the page
when your sheet music runs out

so run your fingers over my body
like you do those piano keys
I want you to learn me
and teach me the melodies

in the end,
we're all
reduced
to
                                                                                
                                                                           *"time of death"

everyone among us was formed and created by stardust.
every diminutive piece was glued together recklessly,
now compressed deep under your scarred skin-
it is tangled between blood, veins and weak bones
yet I catch a glimpse of it every time words slip off your tongue
and slide through your lips.

Distance
Is not just about being miles apart.

Distance
Can be about
Being a road away from each other
Yet never having the chance to meet.

Distance
Is not just about different time zones.

Distance
Can be about
Chatting online everyday
But replying with only "yes", "no", or "k".

Distance.
It hurts more
When you're so near
Yet so far.