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cf Dec 2015
I spend more of my time with him;

thinking of the ways he will leave me.
  Dec 2015 cf
Christopher Cutillar
196 lb
average male weight
ego not included

156 lb
average female weight
although one spoken sentence hits like a ton of bricks

20 lb
unsaid words,
searing, left in your throat

10 lb
“It won’t happen again”
guns for vocal chords

40 lb
a dead car battery

25 lb
for every bullet he left inside her spirit

a scale says 167 pounds
body mass measured
heavy heart unaccounted

19.30 g
roughly the weight of a wedding ring
she’s seen three removed from three different fingers

1.5 g
enough for six rotations
enough to feel zero

1.5 oz
enough for a shot
take six to feel a hundred

10 million tons
the weight of a star

10 million tons
the thought of her

we are loaded
dense
filled

made-to-break
paper-made
carbon-bounded
­heart-strung
fire-resistant

the weight we carry is not the
numbers on the scale
we are much more than the pounds we gain
the aches that we hold
the tears that did not fall

living with a hallowed heart does not make it any less heavier

these light words were not meant for these paper limbs
gravity could care less

we are pressured
felt
squeezed
until broken
forevermore

built strong
lasts shortly
bulldozed by just one fallowed swoop
we are demolished

you could build your vessel as ravenous and as merciless as you can
only to be held down by the world
we are defied

measured
counted
hated
loved
we are
cf Dec 2015
To write love on her arms
You take your finger
And leave prints all over her heart
You fill her mind with flowers
Her stomach with butterflies
You fuel her energy
With hopes and dreams about the future
And then
You stop watering her flowers
You rid of her garden
And the butterflies migrate
To a happier place
You no longer fuel her body with love
But with absence

To write love on her arms
You give her every memory
Every word you never meant
And to write it,
The knife
About falling apart
  Dec 2015 cf
Lainrz
I'm an alcoholic
drug addict
and this ****
doesn't have a thing on
you.

e.s.
cf Dec 2015
I wish I fell in love with drugs,
instead of you.
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