The sun was shining very bright
In my very darkest night
The stars' they misaligned
The moon I simply couldn't find
Left frozen on that August day
A blizzard of emotions in the way

Amongst the pain and agony
I found myself on bended knee
No longer able to stand
Buried in your life's sand

So now on my belly I'll crawl
Banging my head against the wall
Knowing I'll never see the light
This situation I can not fight

For you see our darkest hour
That leaves us all to cower
Rarely ever comes at night
It attacks when the day is bright
So sleeping with that gun under your pillow
Won't stop the winds of change that billow

©Pauline Russell

if you don't have family
you don't have anything
i don't have
anything

I wish I could write again.
Like I used to when I was sad.
I'd write and it was beautiful and creative
Because the most sad things are the also the most creative.
But things have changed.
And I can no longer write.
Because I no longer feel sad.
I just feel nothing.

I sit so still in this old room
Waiting alone as quiet looms,
And then a scent alerts my mind
A smell familiar but undefined.
And I think of her and life fades
I see her coming and yet afraid
She wants to tell me something new
By how she picked her words, I knew
I'd never feel the same again
A new chapter in my life begins.
Then the moment fades to quiet
And I'm yet still, my mind's a riot
Trying to find that nostalgic scent
That love and timely joy it lent
Where this old room was heaven sent
And words of love were said and meant.

Someone changed my world
It’s funny and hard to say
So now my life is stranger
I feel this everyday.

It’s like whatever when I wake
Likewise the things that I partake
Were the choice mine to remake
I think I’d make the same mistake.

When I was a young boy
Alive and well in the north
I was always quite annoyed
By the silence brought forth

From the graveyard down the street
And the weights tied to my feet

When I was a young man
Broken but happy in the south
My future was devoid of plans
By the silence from my mouth

Protecting my feelings from others
Always trying not to be a bother

When I become who I aspire to be
The man that can be loved without fear
Will the past come back to haunt me?
Destroy all the people I hold dear?

I'll silence every doubt in my heart
After all, I've known silence from the start