you fly with broad shoulders
stuff your mouth full of Wonder Bread
and call yourself a saint
strum a note and make it
discord - breath swirls like wind

2. look deep into the cracks of your skin -
could you please stop calling me that!
if anything could phase you
it would have to be a plane,
only they can cut through clouds.

3. my first collector edition model
placed on a desk near my window
i see birds flying through your hair outside.
you picked one up and
tossed it in the river

4. do you find it easier to steal from a child
or do you think adults fall harder under
pressures you put onto others?
either way, a hurricane is coming
and we all hope you are being safe

flecks of sugar could be
found in your taste buds
as I search them with my
tongue, you begin to open

I guess I could've
stopped the end of the world -
left in rotting and
tumbling into cheeto dust,
licking the residue off my fingers.

but I didn't want to
I flicked my tongue and
pieced the shapes back together,
destroying my own form
in the process

it was worth it
because I knew that
the butterflies would fly again,
you see

My true love has my heart in his hand, mine.

Singing to myself,
rain thuds on my roof.
All by myself,
I get lonely at night.

I can only imagine
your soft touch,
or even inhale
the scent of your hair.

The biggest mistake I ever made
was accepting the hatred you had for me.
Whenever I should have taken your hands,
I cut off my own.

Loose strands of hair fall over his thigh.
It's not a metaphor.
I am giving myself to a guy I love.
Tell me it's okay.
I'm hoping to fall into more than just your lap.

Rolling hips and bruised lips.
Have I been before?
Dignity seemed to be more of a factor then.
Maybe if I drown myself in hatred,
I'll look more lovely.

I'm only begging for you back;
the way I'm doing it is necessary.
You loved me once,
so what's the difference now?

Don't be blind, my love.
It's so obvious that she can't
love you like I do.

It is not supposed to be like this.
The tears,
they're supposed to disappear.
And I told myself
it would not end up like this again.
No,
I promised myself that I would not let it get this bad.

This is all wrong,
and I can not bring myself to tear away from your gaze.

An old man looks up at me with a toothless grin,
and a sparkle in his eyes.
I watch as his feeble hands
reach up to the sky
in hopes of becoming youthful once again.

A teacher passes by me in the hall,
and she looks me over as if I’m nothing.
Little does she know that I sit in her class every day,
thinking of how much she inspires me.

The lights flicker on and off in my head
almost as much as in this classroom.
The girl beside me won't quit clicking her tongue,
and restlessly flirting with the boy in front.
I’m going mad in here.

The girl with long hair is reading nonstop.
She's never been in love before.
I always get the update of the offers
she gave out the day before.
It's calming to know some girls are insane.

Bitterly clinging to my skin,
the windows of your car have frozen over.
4:00 AM
and you're curling up to me,
making jokes in my ear.
I've forgotten who we are
to compensate for who we were.

please do no tell me to calm down
whenever you still kiss the palms of my hands.
and please do not tell me you do not feel the same way
whenever you continuously hold your shaking body to mine.
please do not tell me that you are in love with her,
whenever you have entered my bloodstream recently.
please.

I've got demons crawling in my nervous system.
Come,
give each of them a kiss.
"I don't belong to you," I scream
as you place your collar on my neck.
Owned.
Marked.
Troubled I am,
as I fall under the spell of dark eyes.
Pulsating heartbeats quiver distantly.
Distance.
That is not what I want out of this.
I want to be yours.
Demons are in my heartbeats,
come pierce them each with a lullaby.

It scares me to think that one day you'll forget my number.
You won't remember how I grew out my nails just because you loved your back being scratched.
That one day I'll try to find you,
and you won't know the color of my eyes.
I won't be the girl you tell your kids about whenever they need love advice.
But at least I'll always keep the memory of who we were together.
And my heart will never be far away from you,
my love.

i really wanted you to be the one
i ****** my life up with.
whenever his eyes found mine,
it really made me sick.
it was like i could hear you through his voice.
and whenever he blew out his smoke,
i could smell your hair.

Gravity tried so very hard to force us together,
but I just couldn't keep my grasp on you.

There is no one here to call whenever  the thunder rattles my windows.
The lightening no longer strikes my house, because you said I did not deserve the brightness.

And I suppose I could have been honest from the start,
but your fingers were shoved so far down my throat,
you ripped out my vocal cords
whenever I pushed you off of my shaky bed.

When you hit the ground,
you shattered my glasses.
And I should say *******,
because you took away my ability to see through your facade.

And no matter how hard your words bruised me,
I kept writing them onto our life,
because I was choking on the dream of exploring the world with you.

No one though to tell me that Earth
does NOT consist of a bottle of *****
and a bright hand mark across my face.

i can only say sorry to the beautiful sadness in your eyes,
and i can only hope to learn from the mistakes i placed heavy on your heart.

you could break me into fragments
of flesh and bones,
but i will always be under your compulsion.
you could rip my throat out
with your sharp teeth and vicious words,
and i'd still answer to your calls.

whenever you sent me away,
i thought i had lost you forever,
and my fingers couldn't stay still.
i wanted you back.
i needed the feeling of euphoria you have me.

i searched so long for the human i have given everything to.
it took me several months to realise that you're not anything to believe in.

you're a dark soul with a bitter twist
behind ever, "i love you."
you're the shadows that haunt my figure
whenever the sun shines.
and worst of all,
you are the one thing that even brought the sun out for me.

you were so beautiful to me.
the curve of your lips
haunts the blink of my eyes.
and the way your fingers ran across my chest
creeks into my memory
at 4:43 am.
oh,
and the way you loved me.
it was so beautiful to me.

he held the brown pipe up to my lips;
he told me my parents would never find out.
but he took me home too early,
and i tripped going up my front porch.

my brain can't even process the
problems in your head right now

tomorrow i'll think of you.
whenever the smoke erupts from my nostrils,
i'll think of your long blonde hair cascading over your shoulders.
the way your smile would light up whenever anyone mentioned ***.
you always did have a certain way of getting addicted to anything
that could cause you harm.
i guess that's why i loved you so much.
i'll blow out the fumes that ignited your bright eyes so well.
this isn't a plea for you to get high with me,
but i wouldn't mind you taking a drag or two.

stars exploded from my brain the day you said that you really loved me.
you held on to the bones in my cheeks,
and rattled dust throughout my soul.

i knew you were only there to break me down into little fragments of dirt from the moment i saw those bright blue eyes.
the ones with white flecks in them.

I've bruised my ******* knuckles in hopes
that you'd bring me a band-aid.
I should have known all you'd do is bring the salt.

you say you have other priorities to tend to,
but all is that you no longer care for me.
a broken wall falls to my knees
in hopes to skin up my knees.

he told me
that black hair suited my face.
i never knew that he meant
that he wanted me to move on
to find someone closer to me.

i guess i ****** you over
with the worst intentions ever.
but
i only wanted what was best for myself.

i suppose i could've thought of you,
because i am right now,
and it's breaking down every fiber in  my body.

I'm a passenger
to a train full of remorse.

last night i couldn't stop thinking of the way your head always fit into the crook of my shoulders,
or the way your tiny hands would wrap around my warm waist.
i kept feeling your bright blue eyes burning through the back of my skull,
pleading for me to never lie to you;
never leave you.
but i did i leave you.
you had nothing to call a home anymore,
because i kept you so high up in the clouds.

all i can say
is that the way your lips curved up whenever i smiled at you
is haunting me,

and i think i need you.

I can still remember the way
the moonlight would dance shyly
on your skin at night.

I hope my name
sends that painful burn
right up to your head
every time you hear it.

And I hope you never forget
the way I would bounce up and down
in the passenger seat to your
horrible off-beat music.

Although you can't see,
you can hear .
I know you're listening to me.
My words are spilling out so very fast.

I gave you all I had,
and you gave me away.
I know you're listening to me.
I know you're there.

I have no inspiration;
maybe I could blame that on you.
You gave me up.
I know you're listening to me.

I know you're listening to me.
You gave me away.
You can't see.
I know you're listening to me.

He makes the shallow cut on the cheek of yet another victim;
hope has been lost for another criminal
that roams the streets freely.

Your phone blasting club music at 9 at night;
late night pool dives on the drops.
Your face appearing from under the water;
your arms reaching up to the only thing you held onto.

I guess you could call me a bit of a *******,
because whenever you ripped my heart from my breast,
I felt nothing but pure ecstasy.
I didn't think I could ever get rid
of the only thing that reminded me of you.

I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE EVERYTHING YOU
WANTED ME TO BE,
BUT I REALIZED THAT EVERYTHING YOU
WANTED WASN'T EVEN ON EARTH.
YOU ONLY WANTED THINGS THAT
WERE ON GALAXIES TOO FAR AWAY TO
EVEN SEE.
WHENEVER I FINALLY CAME
TO THIS CONCLUSION,
YOU WERE MILES AWAY FROM ME.
OH,
I WANTED YOU
BACK SO VERY
VERY BADLY
BABE.

I can't fix it;
I can't even make it better.
Stop looking to me
for a solution
to your hopelessness.

A shattered promise falls limply to my feet;
I've given it my best.

I suppose I could've just been honest with you from the start, babe.
I should've agreed whenever you asked if your hands were rough,
or whenever you begged to know if your hair was stringy.
All of your strange imperfections put me under some spell.
It was a casting I didn't want to lose touch with.

However,
the times just never got old with you.
It all added up inside of my cloudy mind,
as long as I had the bottle in one hand
and my 100s in the other.
The taste will always be imprinted on my tongue.

I suppose I could've just told you I never really loved you.
I could've spared you the immense amount of pain,
but instead,
I decided to drag you along the same path
I told myself I'd never go down.

I watched as her words came out in the slowest motion;
lips made of cherries.
I knew right then that I wanted to cherish her flavor.

Tomorrow,
I'll put my feet in the water.
I don't think it'll be all that great,
however,
because you will be far away from me.

I want him to love me
like I love him,
because I love him
so very ******* much.
It hurts not be loved
by someone you love.

Oh God, it hurts so much.

My bright red lipstick
trailing down his neck.
His warm hands
fleeting across my back.
Her dark eyes glaring at me
from across the room.

Oh,
do stay a little while longer.

At least
wait until our coffee has gone cold,
and our tongues weak.

a kiss
does not mean
you can rest your hands
on the valleys of my body.

a sigh
does not mean
i am willing to open up
the most precious gift to you.

I looked up at you
with bright eyes
and red lips.

I worshiped you
with open arms
and a vast imagination.

I gave you all of me
with hopes to
get something in return.

fc

Arms crossed
like the hopes to die
on my heart.

Head bowed like the empty prayers
I've made for eternity.

Hands on the hair.
Feet on the ground.
Arms crossed.
Head bowed.

Hands in my hair.
Feet around his waist.
Arms grasping for
the bowed head.

Promises sent out
to broken paper shredders.

"NO,"
is stained onto my skin forever.
Pulsating blood
leaks onto
secret pages.
Tears fall
slowly onto
a new shoulder.
Different hands are held into
each sunrise,
and the heart turns colder
after each new beat is
shown to her.
Bodies are being displayed to
blind eyes and
deaf ears.
New words
are brought to her had
with each breath she draws.

A glitch found its way into my life;
a single flaw has been made.
But singles turn into doubles,
home runs are made,
and soon... it's formed a new.

Beautifully crafted hands
want to wrap around a slender neck.
Begging you to give in to me
in the hollows of my dreams.

A breath given out to the world
in hopes for someone to smell the cherries
on her breath,
or breaking in her new lace.
Glitches can't be taken away.

Don't ever wait up for me,
because I'll probably leave you.
That doesn't mean to leave me,
because I'll gladly wait up for you.

Sometimes I get really sad,
because I miss the presence of your skin on mine.