Not knowing the right words
to express entirely how this feels,
I cry.

In the middle of the night,
as I go through the day,
whether its for work or play,
I stop.

When uncertainty isn't enough,
and every conversation is tough,
I breakdown.

Because there is nothing left,
and nothing will ever feel right;
For I lost,
and I am loss.

Before:
Let's do this.

During:
1. I am selfish, I say, sometimes.
2. Cake is not enough, I must have tea too.
3. Books pile up on the shelves still not plenty enough.
4. Its me, sitting on the porch
5. The waves, crashing in, but I'm not by the sea

After:
Let's never see each other again.

its overflowing,
its swelling,
to and fro the tide is moving,
and so does my heart.

When the daily struggle to:
1. be relevant
2. do something with this life
3. have purpose
4. feel loved
5. find happiness

is pointless.