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Chitransh Gaurav May 2018
Rains of happiness are scanty and scarce
Darkness and pains blow perennially
Build shifting sand dunes, where you lose yourself

Occasionally I indulge in the ordinary
I capture the animals, talk to them, care for them
But that is occasional, mostly, I torment them

Darkness is what I truly adore and admire
It is its depths that fascinate me
The deeper I go, the deeper it gets

Bridges that I build all collapse
The momentary bliss of being normal
is a ******* illusion, that I try cling to

These reveries when they last
I feel happy, content, confident
Though I fear, soon they will vanish

And then would come the tentacular times
Difficult it then gets to differentiate
What is real from what is not.

I get a bit anxious, paranoid and schizoid
It's not as bad as it is for the sufferers
But it is a ******* anyway

Sometimes they last hours
Sometimes days and weeks
And at times, years

The worst part is that I won't even know
When the sandstorms take place of the rains
Later when I do, it seems impossible to get out

The triggers can be really subtle
But the madness they bring along is not
Sometimes the hot winds blow for no reason

Focus and conviction, I lack
Hence whatever I hold dear
I lose

Sometimes I feel like stopping to breathe
To finally end, the infinite loop of endless loops
The clusterfuck of gloom, a dance of dismay

I have tried building defence mechanisms
But whatever it is, it mutates and manifests
In ways that are different from before

I know nothing holds any meaning
All this goes nowhere and will be worthless
But there are a few happy moments

My experiences may not be the best
But when there are rains
I tend to touch the skies

And I have learned
To carry on, even in the storms
But how far I would go?
Chitransh Gaurav May 2018
She is caressed and tickled faintly
Moves her limbs swiftly against its currents
Seeks to fend off the darkness that surrounds
But is too uncaring to pay heed

Pay heed to those floating by
Disturbing their reveries
Dreams they dream with their eyes wide open
Gazing at the stars, the skies pitch black
For their dreams to realize
They pray to the stars falling
To holy spirits, to Zeus in the gauzy haze
Ignoring her as she drowns

Wishing with lust for glitters and gold
They float all over all around
Blocking the shimmering moonlight
The miniscule ray of hope that she had
Worse, she got vertigo
The waters wash away with whirlpools
In effervescence all bonds that existed
Now withered and weak
The water of totality
Incorporeal, incorporating totality
With mediocre attempts
Barely chafing composure of the surfers
Surfers in trance, penancing after their dreams
Somnolent and drooling in lullaby
Unmindful of the drowning damsel
She is about to succumb

A drunk sailor passes by
Intoxicated in psychedelics, tipsy
With languid gait and slow movements
The world melting before him
With eyes closed he sees the unseen
Vivid serene sceneries and warping visuals
That you and I call hallucinations
Purple, pink and scarlet with spirals
And other ineffable amorphous shapes
For his senses are hindered
That he outreaches for help, that’d cost
Cost him his own dreams and adventures
Dreams to cover the seven seas
With eleven bottles of ***

A downhaul he extends for her
All he sees is a beautiful woman in pain
All he assumes is a paragon of virtue
A company to fill in his solitude
He helps her aboard.
Appalled by apathy of the world
She impels him out of his boat
And treads on alone
To conquer the world
A world of despair

Somewhere among the dreamers
Floating on their surfboards
The bored pirate sees it all
In ephermal tranquillity
For him, “All the world’s a stage”
Innate truths of the world are clear
Thus he just observes from a distance
Like an all seeing eye of the illuminati
And he doesn’t dream
Anymore.

— The End —