I have no reason why,
The selfish, in vain, take hold
Of a hope that cannot die,
It’s really getting old

But letting go doesn’t seem to be
In the cards, i can’t play it
On the tip of a thought,
An answer, i can’t say it

And the limits imposed
by the lack of understanding
Makes acceptance the course
And of course, I’m not accepting

Struggling in vain, there’s no other way
Can i at least believe they know i remember.
Nothing i could do
but to Watch, and to pray
Until returning our bodies to clay

I try too hard somehow, without ever even trying
Fruitless is the hand offering semblance to the dying
The greatest minds can't find the cure
What offer could i proffer here
That wouldn't requisite a dejected tear...

In vain, or in vanity
Selfishness or insanity?
No control over desire to
Defeat this infirmity

Should be left to the learned
It's hard to trust the tried.
I couldn’t agree more
On nights like tonight.

Another cycle come and gone
of invasive crap chewing out the inside of my skull
armor of stoicism, nagging need to atone
I could let you know, but i'll leave it alone

I am used to it now, just waiting it out
Sometimes it takes longer, sometimes the doubt is stronger
Nothing, really, that you've brought on
You'd know it if i showed you
Because you do it too

Nagging untrustworthy thoughts that come to you

You might wanna talk, if you do I will listen
And tell you what's real
or officious cognition
Might add to my burdens, i don't care
if it's hurtin'
If none of it's true, then there's nothing we're learnin'
I'll work it all out
And get rid of this doubt
Without forcing you to see the man behind the curtain

I've been here so much and I know how it works
It passes
And acknowledging it just makes it worse
Coerced into talking compromises my temperance
Your fortitude, will be all that's between a rock and a remanent

If it's working for you,
Then you don't need to worry about it

Lament, in a bubble. A ghost at sea
  Memories, entombed, as specters

    The portrait of your apology,
       This scene, now your Legacy
          Whispering under waves Forever:

"Remember me"

Used to be in awe of the sky.
Laying out between it and the ground.
Never regarding that “up” i must find,
While most of it is obscured.
When i try to look down.

It’s there, but hidden,
by the ground.

And it’s not as if it cant be seen if you wait,
Six months pass,
Then seven,
Then Eight,

Nine and Ten, and before i realize,
The stars return how they previously aligned.
A missed opportunity, another year gone by

   But something must give, I’ll sit and wait.
On the beach, in a tree
And see what i seek

But forget where i am.
“Come on grandpa, its time to go in.
Tomorrow you can sit on the back porch again.”

It’s been a while, and I thought you were done.
But now what’s begun
I’ve feared from the beginning.

I left to lessen the kindling ablaze,
But old embers stay.
Slowly burning the saplings.

  A new fire burns. Slowly at first,
And the smoldering vitriol only gets worse.
And compounds the agony of those you protect,
And you shade them from the rain’s effect,
As any influence not yours, you reject.
I expect-

-That you’re unaware of this fact-

   That rampant lies of fire breathing beasts,
Will burn the trusting.
So stop it.
Please.

A change well beyond my normal ways
Has taken hold these past few days
And, to be fair, It's only for play
But it impacts me, unexpectedly.

The perfect form! Admittedly,
it is so only to me.
But, to be fair, it helps me see
How I believe I would like to be.

Her personality is exactly me.
Which proves I love myself for real.
But, to be fair
This is me,
If I were to be fair.

She makes me want to be healthy,
She makes me think that I can be,
Me
And see
That I want to be,
Fair, for someone else.