I always look for someone to save me
Every single time
I check my phone
I listen for footsteps
I want someone to stop me
I don’t really have that anymore
Now I have to save myself
But I don’t really want to

Happy birthday
To the boy who kissed me
Then said, “we should be just friends”
I’m still hurting
I’m not okay
Hope you have a nice day

I’m too afraid of breaking
I don’t know if I can make it through
Another heartbreak

So I run however I can
Hide from my feelings
Work, pills, tv
Just dissociate
Hold it in
Because feeling it will be worse
Facing it is to spiral again
I can’t survive that
So... I guess I have to run
A few more pills won’t hurt
Not yet anyway

I want to lie in the low lights
Listen to loud alternative music
Feel chemicals relaxing my body
And forget

I was happy with you
For the first time in years
I felt truly happy
I felt accepted as myself
I felt cared for
And you went and ****** it up
******* me over
And stole that happiness from me

You can’t do this to me
You can’t treat me like this
You can’t kiss me and tell me you want to be friends
You can’t do that
You can’t play with my heart
You can’t string me along
You know what this meant to me
You know you could’ve been my first love
You ****** up
And now I’m crying
Taking pills I don’t need
Dissociating
My heart is breaking
Because you couldn’t control yourself.

There’s something wrong in my head
My anxiety is triggered
And suddenly I don’t feel for you?
I get nervous and then everything’s wrong?
I’m high when I’m with you
I’m high when you’re gone
Until something’s wrong
Then I can’t breathe anymore
I can’t think
Can’t sleep
Somethings wrong
Somethings wronsoemthings.....
Wrong.

Take your medicine.

Leave him be.

You can do this.

Fall back to old habits.

Lol

You’ll never be okay