When you told me
about the feelings
you had
for me,
I could not believe you.

I have a hard time trusting people generally,
thanks to the **** I have gone through
and this was so specifically special
that I just couldn't help
but run away.

so I did.

But
somehow like that
I wanted you to follow me
and tell me you wouldn't hurt
and that it will be fine.
Tsk. Wishes.

**** playing games.
I need someone who's down for me
And only me.

written March 31, 2015

"Have you ever cried every day for two weeks straight?
I have
And although the tears were sporadic
My breaths were heavy and I had outbursts
These tears i'm experiencing, two weeks later
are hurting much much more
I'm not biting my tongue to hide my sobs
or crying into the pillow, late at night
Rather feelings the burn as each tear slowly runs down my cheeks
Every tear falls with a memory of you
and my heart is heavy tonight
I feel as if I'm suffocating
Because my heart and my head are in a rebuttal
Wishing two things upon myself
and I don't know where to go
I just want to stay still and do nothing for the rest of eternity
Who knew decisions could be this ******* someone
And why is it that the one who hurts you and treats you poorly
is the one you set your sights on
and want the most"

He said that he doesn't like the way she is,
That she needs to relax a little bit.
"How do you do that?"
She asked.
"One drink at a time,"
He answered.

And as the alcohol coursed through her veins,
She began to fall in love with the sound of his name.
And in the heat of the hot summer nights,
They were always together,
It just felt right.
But soon summer was over,
The fun was all done.
Before she knew it,
He was gone.

She waited and waited,
For some sort of sign,
That it wasn't over,
But it was the end.
The summer love had died.

People told her to forget him,
That he wasn't coming back.
He was nothing but trouble,
She didn't need that.
"How?"
She asked.
And they replied with "One drink at a time."

And as the alcohol she sipped burned her throat,
She slowly began to learn how to let go.
You don't get over someone by crying tears,
You get over them by downing shots and sipping beers.