I don't want to belong to anyone,
not even myself.

Have you ever met someone who has an irrational fear?
Of course you have
Well, my irrational fear is love and I know
It sounds like a line someone would say but, it's not.

I reeled you in, not that it was difficult and
then I told you to go.
I realise now, this was not the way I should've conducted myself.
I'm sorry for that.

I clawed my way back to you, after swallowing my pride and
I fell again, harder this time.
How dangerous, how scary, how thrilling.
I faced my fear and I see now that you can't be scared of love.

But now you're scared of me.

I'm missing something.
I'm missing a lot of things.
I'm missing the point
I'm missing my high school years
I'm missing the light
I'm missing the spring

What's wrong with my head?
What's wrong?

I'm most creative at my darkest,
The pain is what keeps me going,
Without it I would have no will no drive,
The smoke although slowly choking me,
Is elevating the stress,
Alcohol is numbing the pain,
Is this how i'm supposed to be?
Is this how i'm Supposed to live?
Live.
The word it has become funny,
As if it's my own personal joke,
As I don't feel alive.

Drowning in the darkness of your eyes
I will still be counting the stars
Ignoring the voice shouting inside
Saying "stupid girl! Just run!!"
no time, no sound
just me and you
and you and me around
feeling your hands
pushing me down
Grabbing my neck
stealing my breath
I can feel your fears
pouring through your tears
but no matter dear
I will fly away
with no hope, no fear