Somebody asked me
If I knew
The person that
Use to be you
I smile and said
You were my friend
Were because
It came to an end
Were because
Of all the fights
Or all the days
As dark as nights
Were because
Of hushed apologies
Of poisonous words
Of twisted theologies
Were because
I guess it's done
The final started
The end has begun

In black ink and paper
I gave you my heart
With sharp eyes and silence
You tore me apart

In black ink and paper
I said my goodbye
With sharp eyes and silence
Your promise became a lie

Now I know
Bullet proof isn't enough
Now I know
You'll leave when things get rough

I've left my old friends
I did it for you
I've tangled loose ends
What you said was true

After all, the final letters
Of the word friend
Spell nothing more and
Nothing less
Than
End.

Round and round
That's how we go
Replaying
This re-run show
Replaying
This old game
We better stop
It's all the same
I'm letting go
You're holding on
You say were good
I say move along
What do we do
I'm hurting me
I'm hurting you
We're tearing at
Each other's scars
You say it'll work
But I'm running far.

09/09/13

My mind is constantly
Consumed with thoughts.
Thoughts if you and thoughts of me.
Thoughts on why the clouds are so grey and of why the wind feels so gentle today. Thoughts of why the stars like the night sky and of what it might feel like to fly. Thoughts of what the future holds, thoughts of the untold. I guess that's why my words are few...my brain thinks for the amount of two.

I want to tell you something,  
it's a story, a few words about how I got where I am today.  
It started with a touch, from myself,
The real me;
someone I don’t know anymore.

it hit me in the chest and it travelled though my veins
And it's become one of my nick names .
Sometimes I lay down at night and laugh at how much I hated myself .
I wanted to charge this and that,
And I changed all of myself and more to come.

I can tell you that I broke my own heart more times than anyone has and that anyone will.
But then I meet this boy  and he changed my life.
He once told something along the lines of "you have to fight to love yourself; it'll be hard but I'm sure you will"
So here I am fighting.

I might fall and tremble but I swear I’m trying to stop hating myself.
I'm trying to let go.

The day I do,
I will scream at the top of my lungs,
Because I'm not a forest fire but I'm the forest itself.

And so are you.