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a hybrid soul,
one to blend like watercolour
paintworks into the social canvas,
boys would stare,
at the star, gone dying, who knew
spotlights illuminate
the pretty parts,
the hips and the mannequin calves.
until the sun dimmers, like gods
dipped lantern burnt out,
and bodies are stripped like birds
of their feathers, plucked to glaring
scars and worn out faces peer
into the mirror - who is the ugliest
of them all.

they called her by names,
prettier than her own,
until she trembled into the
valley of the dolls, a dark and dismal
place with discarded arms and legs,
to build the perfect 'woman' -
a vulnerable creature, made to
be loved, to be wanted.
There's so soo so much pressure to be perfect. I feel like sometimes I should be trying harder but I'm already putting in so much.
Anyway, I haven't posted anything in what? 2 months? So many drafts, yet not enough free time.

© copyright
You watched summer fade
And her petals along with her;
You watched the world die
Without any resistance and wept.
You vowed to learn from it
You would not be a delicate flower
Or the gentle trill of birdsong
Wavering, fluttering at
Nothing more than a breeze
You hardened your heart
Until it became diamond,
Harsh and beautiful
But you forgot
You forgot though diamond is hard
It is also brittle
And one day your heart
Was not hard enough,
And it shattered
Spreading like eternal stardust
Until you were nothing
But a name to weep.
People change. Pain changes people.

Trusting less, no more that of a bee not to sting once you let him sit upon your skin. A sting of a thousand stings your words can hurt. Just as much as no words spoken can overthink. What if they loved me like they used to? Would my heart feel full again? So full of a mothers’ belly of a grown child. Love me again like so. So I don’t feel hurt by those words you speak and overthink by the words you don’t.

Overthink by the words I can’t say. Alone in my head like a madman in a padded room wrapped in rough threads; no room to flail. Only to hold myself; hug myself; love myself more. To keep my words for they are sacred as my heart.

Shut Out. There will be no need for others in this space, for I am the keeper of my room. Don’t let anyone bother with the things in this room, no one understands these things, they will only use them. Feelings, heart and beautiful mind. Keep my door locked please, My heart is so tired; tired of fighting.
Here I am again looking to the sky
Wishing so much that I could fly
Leave this lonesome world behind
Most people are just blind
And they will never see the truth
But up high here upon the roof

It's not so hard to find
That they are to mired in the grind
They've given in
To the greatest sin
That possessions have more worth than time
They cherish every dime

But I know the truth
It's about love, not youth
Or possession you own
It's about watching kid's becoming grown

It's not how much money
You spend on your hunny
But putting in the time
To watch life unwind

Holding loved ones close
It's what we all want the most
So I have decided I'm growing wings
Just watch as I fly away and sing
Because my love lives faraway
And Skypes not enough today
In the sea of voices,
My mind is loud,
As if people weren't enough already,
It starts to scream.
I keep my head bowed
But my eyes are wide awake.

I can't escape this surreal reality.
Soft reflections of the things we have done
this life is kept within mason jars
Their volumes filled with
Uncontaminated droplets of passion

Our hearts are held within the hands of time
Cupping its beating energy
Purifying the savage rhythm known since birth

We ride along rails to stations
Greeted by shadows of our past
Embracing their kindness and their
Pursuits of diamonds mined out of
Reality's sacred grounds

I spread my arms wide and take capture
of the wind
There's no other option
for the life that I'm in
The moon pulls the waters
of time
forwards and backwards
along with the yellow sun
eroding the shores of
the people we know
the people we love
until
they disappear
from our lives
completely
pretend a little longer
in between shutter fire
and gradated grin,
that our lenses haven’t murdered

i've lost a thousand people
disappeared under gaze weight
of coarse rope bindings
bouncing off reflective walls

that are tortuous to the camera shy
where are they now
and why haven't we seen them
in such a very long time?
ever since we exposed the reluctant

they are beating their heads
in celluloid blocks
on reels and reels and reels
of mandatory participation

no longer allowed options
details only apparent to living selves,
the right to remain invisible
and pathetic, off the record
We can offer
Relief from     the prism
of infinite pregnancy

You need not
carry smoke  burdens
in a human shape

Be animal
See us as animal
Drive our smiles out

*Little changes
I lose the finesse
of latter day men

Run naked
with a power
from hind legs

Through dirt
with a maddening
new hunger

Wolves chased me
before this
They chase still
Can we ascend beyond the realms of
what lays beneath out feet.

Wondering like dust particles on the
tempest of the nothingness.

Seeking  the seeds of creation that lay
in the realms of others treading carefully.

We may be particles in a void of infinity
but even dust can make ripples in its wake.

*"We are children of the universe, creativity
expects us to draw upon the stars,
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