It's all the little reminders
That tear me down,
Again...

I like that thing you do with your tongue.
What do you call it?
Speaking?
Yeah, I dig it.

How, may I ask, did you get so you,
you beautiful true-to-you doer?
I've met many today but I can honestly say
that I've never met anyone you-er.

I wish you knew my poetry about you. Maybe then you would know me too.
Words are hard to write. How the memory tend to bite. I once lost one I loved. Not a breakup.
I don't know how to make this a poem.
Nothing seams authentic if I try.
Its so hard to be "just the boyfriend."
They lost a daughter. I need to grive but its all out of place.
They say each kind of loss is equal but different let me tell you how mine went:
This little voice inside you starts poking a finger at you telling you her suicide was your fault. Then it jabs harder and harder until you want to die.
you run the scenario every ******* way you can but it doesn't help.
Because you were the boyfriend. You had one ******* job and you ******* it up. Be there. And you know what you know you were there. You know you were. So why does it hurt so bad? Because you were the boyfriend. You had one ******* job and you ******* it up.
Repeat that last paragraph about 50,000 times. While everyone else moves on.
2 years of my life. Made worthless without
her.
supposedly it gets easier right? It doesn't. It gets more manageable? Someday I just can't manage it.
I know this is me ******* and flailing my arms but I feel this is a better place then any to get it out.

11 Water drops.
We both lie awake under the same night sky,
Even the moon wept at the impossibility of our love.
I touched the space beside me, it feels as empty as my heart.
You let the rain touch your fingers, which have gone numb from being apart.

I wonder when he will taste the betrayal on my tongue,
You wonder when she will ******* name on your lips.
In this haze the morning light hits me and I realize,
Tonight the rain was not just the clouds, but also two pairs of eyes.

I have to forget them
All the moments we shared
Laughing hysterically
This connection so rare

Sharing your life with me
A move daring and bold
Poured mine into your hands
Which I so longed to hold

I cannot remember
Ev'ry star we admired
Running through bitter wind
Kept warm by our fire

We said that one day, we'd
Return here together
You promised we'd stare up
At those stars forever

But what's hurting the most
Is your gaze and your smile
And the light in your eyes
I won't see for a while

I wish i could hold you
See you, touch you--kiss you
But all that I can do
For now
is miss you
At 2 am