It’s been thirteen months and I’ve forgotten your scent. I don’t remember the way it feels for your fingertips to brush against my bare skin. I can’t recall the spark that would reignite every time our lips came in contact. I can’t remember the way your tongue would taste in the early hours of the day. I don’t even remember what your voice sounded like whispering through the phone at 5am. But it’s been thirteen months, and I won’t dare forget the way it felt to watch you walk out of my life just as quickly and unexpectedly as you walked into it.

You


Marrying *you



Being with you forever


Baring a child with you


Falling asleep wrapped close to you


Waking up beside you


Living life fighting happily for *you

I’m trying to tell you something
but there are no suitable words to explain how I feel

like I need you on top of me

and I need you in the ocean next to me

I need you holding my hand
and listening to me sing along to the radio

I need you drinking tea with me
and playing cards
and crunching leaves under our feet in fall

I need you on a blanket

and at the mall I need you by my side

I need you to snowboard down the ***** of my back

I need you to spank me over your lap
I need to get drunk with you

I need to smoke cigarettes with you

I need to taste wine on your lips
and drink ***** out of your collarbones

I need you like a quick striking match

I’ve spent all my wishes on you

I need to sleep next to you every night of my life
and watch you brush your teeth in the morning
and straighten the collar of your shirt

I need to open the door and find you there

I need to read thick books with you

I need to see you eating cereal for dinner
I need my head on your chest

I need to watch you shower
and shampoo your black hair

I need to love you
I need to LOVE you
I love you

They say home is where the heart is
Well, I don't care where I am

I need to call you home

We are the girls who walk around with little bird bones,
rib cages ready to snap when we spread our wings and
fly away

and for my next act,
I shall disappear little by little until I am ash.

I’m not eating for four days or until
I can feel the ***** that is my stomach start to shrink

I used to refuse food for weeks
it amazes me how self-indulgent I have become

I am ready to eat spoonfuls of air
spin my hair into a models top knot and
know that water is a privilege not a right

a million screaming girls saying
“but im not hungry”
while a tiger flays their insides open at night

Kate Moss said "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"
and I suppose she is correct
What happens when you learn the tongue is a muscle not to be used

What happens when sustenance is no longer needed
When the mind decides
the very thing that keeps the body alive is a punishment

What happens when you refuse a necessity of being human