Mariana

Mariana Nov 2013

at times when I'm by your side I like to steal to the land of what could be.
I picture waking up one late night and seeing you laying there breathing peacefuly ,
I picture your skin aging along side mine,
I picture rainy days in bed and stressful days in the hospital,
I picture laughter and sadness and all those things that come with time.
and when I come back and I find your eyes looking into mine, searching, I can't help but smile because I know I will never feel this way about anyone else.

Mariana Mar 2013

If only words could express

I try not to miss you
but there are certain days were
your absence follows me everywhere I go.
I spend the entire day brooding,
wanting to only hear your voice even if for a little while.
and even though we've both become increasingly adjusted
to this distance there are days where I can't fool myself.
the knot in my throat tightens and tears threaten to fall
over only vague memories of you.
I know not what to do during these days
usually these days come when you're out of reach, away from technology,away from me
but it doesn't matter because I know these feelings are proof of something more,
even if I know not what the future will be like I know
I will always love you more than I will ever miss you.

Mariana Jan 2013

one year ago today

365 days have passed since that day
the day I allowed my feelings to unwind in front of you
I really had no idea you felt the same,
as ridiculous as it may sound that day
meant life and death for me
you are and always will be the first,
I knew that even then, but I was not sure you did.
I was so scared at what your reaction might be
I stared at the ground feeling a relief like no other.
when I first looked up I saw what I least expected,
your face (what I could see from behind your hands),
redder than it had ever been; shocked, happy, and scared all at once.
from that day on I allowed myself to feel the static,
I allowed myself to see you differently,
I allowed my love for you grow, no words of gratitude will ever be able to say
how happy and thankful I am to you for setting me free from all that I was

*I l o v e y o u

Mariana Dec 2012

A spell called Love

My fingers shake,
my heart pounds,
This feeling overwhelms me.
Such a simple thought brings me under the spell,
Your entire essence only makes the spell more powerful than it already is.
This spell I'm sure has been within since we met,
and it is a spell I'm sure will stay with me for the rest of my life.

Mariana Dec 2012

Loneliness is like this

Loneliness is like a whisper
Constantly humming in your ear
Telling you what you cannot tell yourself
Even when you think it's gone, never to return
It comes back in the dead of night
When you least expect it,
When you are most vulnerable
Striking as merciless as a bullet on impact.

Mariana Dec 2012

When did this happen?

I close my eyes hoping to see something better
Lights shine through my lids
Each bringing back
It's own unique memory
The more I see
the more I notice
I am but a hollow shell
Constructed of old memories

Mariana Nov 2012

A Bit Jargogoling?

The taste of a new word on your lips.
It feels strange, a bit confusing at first,
uncertain of its pronunciation,
you sometimes stumble or fumble on the word,
still insecure of its meaning.
weeks may pass and you never once hear that word.
as you read the word somewhere you think,
"I know that word"
Yet, nothing is answered.