I want to change, as in,
I want to be better, as in,
I think something's wrong, as in,
I wish I could go back to before things mattered

Lick my lips
Cradle my face
Gaze into my eyes
And tell me I'm safe

i dread the day you learn
for the first time that
you can't just love all
the darkness in me away

and no matter how much
you care i will still toss
and turn at night and scars
might still appear on my skin

i dread the day you realize
that you can't cure me
and sometimes all you can do
is stand next to me and
hold my hand through fog
pouring out of my ears so black
and thick we can't even see
each other's faces

i dread the days i can't
get out of bed
the days you want to
take me out and all
i can manage is a prettified
shell of myself

i dread the day you learn
that sometimes no matter
how hard i try i still can't
pull myself together

the day you learn that
there isn't an answer
you can give that will
save me from my fears

you aren't the first person
who has tried to love the
darkness inside away
my family and friends
have given it their all
but someday you too will learn
that if love could
cure mental illness
the world would be
a much better place

dark are the eyes
through which we see
hard is the heart
that inside beats
only the lonely
know of the deeds
cold are the hands
that outward reach

follow the progress
that gets in the way
swallow the innocence
in what we say
two-sided knife
baked in the cake
savor the flavor
of the escape

hold onto your breath
if there's any left
along with the secrets
that you have kept
tossing and turning
in unmade beds
knowing the deeds
cold are the hands

My words come out all slurred, blurred, and censored. My heart has a faulty bad juju sensor. My nerves are practicing voodoo, got me all wrapped up in hoodoo. Always asking 'how do you do?' As if you'd ask me too. My world is red, my world is blue. My vision is all kinds of skewed. Skewer me, skewer you. Skewered life 'cause it leaves us *******. Who needs to hear another boohoo? I'll kiss my own **** boo boos. Satan's calling me like 'yoohoo' I'll ignore him like you do me, all passionless and angry. I'm a dead fish in a dead sea just practicing my moaning, for when I'm see-through and lonely. Haunting the world as it's revolving, and it's kind of revolting- knowing life goes on, as you're decomposing. I'm shedding, I'm molting; these feelings of chicken skin and insects. It was really salmonella and pests, and I guess, what the point I'm really trying to get to is nothing, oh and *******.

Who am I
When your joy is all I seek
Yet, your sorrow grows
From the words I speak
Your pain expands
When I beg your smile
Your tears
A river's breadth, a mile
My love surrounds you
In warm ocean waves
And drowns your soul
While I mindlessly bathe
Who am I
Who gives you all
Though all seems
Rather boldly small
When my best attempts
To lift you high
Leave you deeper
Tell me,
Who am I

I
Can
Only
Write
Half a song,
Paint
Only half
A picture
Write
Half a
Poem.
Half love
Half care...
I
Am
Incomplete!
BUT
Let me say
I
Enjoy
Half
A lemon
Half
A Sunset.