Here’s plan B:
you gather your duplicitous *****,
dash on a bus with another
erroneous statement, like
“Competent Leaders”
and leave us

Seriously
a shot of your plinth
with a placard that read
“Just do what I wouldn’t”
couldn’t be worse than this

And every karmic drip,
from every lone last breath
or lost tear of an apartheid
volunteered for others
will be a harsh tide to wash
you stains away

Forgive me if the fatigue means
my eyes cross
and I lose the thread of your beauty,

it’s in your words, see?
Always has been,
a bit like me

And now my head nods,
we’ll say in affirmation
as you’re a patient person,

though my snort-start awake
will give me away

I’m desperate to stay awake with you,
but these days, y’know?
These days.

Hearts are funny things
I feel mine rise and fall, jarred
like captured summer fruit
fat in syrup
some days
others, pickled sharp
and tucked away in acetic darkness

A moment of that child’s voice
tattoos a grief
permanent without ears to hear

my fear of hating humanity
inches nearer
while my loves try not to fade

Before the storm, the river had all but given up,
the guttural roar of wind and deluge
rattled all souls, except her
and in the aftermath she swelled
and bore delicious weight again
and my eye-contact
with the pageantry of the green headed drake
told all the muddy truths:
to underestimate is to lose

Iscariot behaviours mean
this never temple body
sometimes struggles to hide
the weather roll
that the eager might hail
pathetic fallacy
with smug misrecognition

Listen to the twitch and thud
as you get older, sure,
but hold off on fearing the worst

The hearse always takes a while
for those who hear its stately glide
daily

#age #health #anxiety #peace #steady

It felt cold again today
as I scraped a little ice on the car
for the daily journey

my fingers ached a touch as winter spoke,
but no brine soaked my skin to crack,
no frozen gun barrel bullied my neck,
forced my unready body
to a too small boat,
crammed where fears of all ages merged,
and hope drowned

It felt cold again today