as i search to you
for answers, i find them
unfortunately, it's not what I want to hear

I have never
done it before
do not worry

I will not take off your clothes
I will not touch you
I will not look at you
I will not think about you
I will not breathe around you

i will crumple myself and throw myself away
you ask me to love you--
                                      (I am scared of you)

I tend to sit awake
and dream
of what could be.
could have been.

I can't stay still
around him,
but he lets me choose.

"don't make me choose."

I need him
on grey, dewy mornings
on humid nights crouched in the back
of my scope of reason.

he tells me everything.
he never shrouds himself
but he isn't proud of his pain.

the nettles sticking to the pelt,
two bodies melt
as they meet
in the middle.

what a lovely cup
of lemonade.
I wish it was mine.

I wish the boy with the argyle socks
had the sense in him
not to follow me.

I wish I had the courage
to be the compass.

Your words dropped into my heart like pebbles into a pool,
Rippling around my breast and leaving it melting cool.

Your kisses fell sharp on my flesh like dawn-dews from the limb,
Of a fruit-filled lemon tree when the day is young and dim.

But a silence vasty-deep, oh deeper than all these ties
Now, through the menacing miles, brooding between us lies.

And more than the songs I sing, I await your written word,
To stir my fluent blood as never your presence stirred.

where boys become men
and men become memories
...freedom's cost

I saw you today,
... we chatted
exchanged meaningless small talk.
I don't know why
I still get butterflies
       you're too short
           losing your hair
and a little chubby around the middle.
Yet you take my breath away.
      I am lost in your gaze.
          mesmerized by your smile.
Your touch sends chills
     to every nerve ending in my body.
I just want to taste you.
     hold you
         wrap myself around you
for hours on end...