this feeling here
I can't deny
it's coming near
to say goodbye

just walk away
is what I'll say
look deep inside
you cannot stay

my heart is yours
is this called fate?
tongue tied inside
I can relate

I can't be with you
this much I know
I'm feeling blue
I cannot show

escape is real
your hiding here
inside this deal
your showing fear

this means the end
is on it's way
I cannot bend
I cannot sway
I feel I must
just walk away

I am sorry for all the harm I have done
I am sorry that I cannot heal the scars I have left
I am sorry that you have wounds and I am the blade
I am a double edged razor and you cannot hold me
without slicing open your palms
drop me please
let me go
I do not want to hurt anyone anymore
if this is what I have caused
I no longer want to be

I will put my heart
in it's rightful place
locked away, defeated
quietly nestled in cold storage.

I am nobody's gift
Nor anyone's passion
I am not seen with heart shaped eyes
My belonging is futile

I will lay my pen to rest
I will drown in crumpled paper
as my tear stained muse
laments my echo

Love does not live
within the cracked walls 
of silent existence
Love does not sing
within the void I created
Love does not listen
to pleas made in darkness
Love does not love
me.

Yet we are all different and still so simillar

I guess you could call it poetic how by the age of 12 I had no recollection of what happiness tasted like on my tongue. Some would say it was tragically beautiful.
But it was not poetic, nor was it beautiful,  but it was tragic. It was so very, very sad, and that sadness is only doubled now that people see sorrow as glorious.  It is not glorious. It is not strength. It is a lump of iron in your chest and stomach and it eats you from the inside, out and you have no right to think that blood stained wrists are anything other than tragic. So very,  very tragic.

As I pop these ***** little pills,
my soul is unaware it's becoming quite ill.
The doctor said I'd be fine, but instead I'm slowly losing my time.
Sitting, thinking, my heart in hopeless decline.
Laying, reminiscing, wanting to rewind.
My thoughts less frequent,
the more pills I take.
I wouldn't have started to take them
if I knew what was at stake.
My soul slowly taking the bate,
Maybe this was really my fate?
My mind is being beckoned from dark shadows to light gray.
What about the bright sun shining day?
Why is it becoming more and more gray?
What exactly am I feeling?
For with what feelings am I dealing?
You lied and said pills were the solution.
You started this ***** revolution!
It was you who gave my mind this illusion,
my brain becoming more and more in confusion.
Don't ever say pills will help again!
For this could very well be the end....

"Mistakes are like constellations.
They inevitably lead your blind footsteps to places that are utterly dizzying. Tailoring that disconcerting sense of still inebriation pooling between your two ears.

But they are also lead us to places and people who liked me as much I did to them."