I'll never understand..
What it was that I did wrong.
To have to suffer through the pain of losing you.
You once meant the world to me,
You were my entire universe.
But one day you just up and disappeared out of my life.
And left me here all alone,
Without an explanation as to why.
I loved you more than words could've ever expressed.
Yet that still wasn't enough for you to stay.
I'll never understand...
We had a love that felt unreal.
Love for you was all that I could feel.
But now, it's been replaced with a sadness that cannot be erased.
A hole inside of me,
That cannot be filled.
A dark void of sadness,
That seems infinite.
As infinite as my love for you..

01:52 am
have you ever asked yourself like why you so lonely?*

01:53 am
or empty?

that maybe you give too much of your essence to people and never leave any of you for yourself

01:55 am
i know i do

02:05 am
and like that's maybe why i get so attached to humans

because in them,
i find myself

02:07 am
i need to change, because things shouldn't be this way

02:10 am
but it's hard sometimes you know, when most days you don't leave the house because you feel unworthy of the space you take up

02:16 am
so you'd much rather disintegrate into soil because you've become all too familiar with people stepping over you and admiring the outcome of your beauty but never the roots of your pain

02:19 am
i spend so much effort watering people in order for them to grow and hardly get enough sun shine to feed my own soul

02:25 am*
because i don't know how to do anything else but care for everyone but myself

Strange to a wicked land
Won't use life's bad hand
As an excuse to sin again
But then again his inner man is unexempted
From mistakes made at times when his flesh is tempted
He chose to live right
Chose to tithe, chose to give right
Chose to use his words to edify instead of incite
Heated discussions that may escalate to something worse
But he used his words to bless a life instead of curse
Encourages others, even when he needs it more than them
Because a love inside was given by the one who died for him
His next relationship will be the last one he seeks
When God directs him to his future wife slash help meet
They'll raise a family in the perfect way God designed it
With his Word being the foundation there aligned with
And through it all, he'll understand his righteous life's a vapor
Then will fade into the everlasting arms......of his Savior

Surrounded by mistakes & regrets?
Labels don't define you
Are you running this race
Fighting demons inside your head?
I don't think I am nonchalant
If I don't scream at the top of my lungs;
I am alive, but death on the inside
Life is like a treasure chest
Full of gold, silver, trophies, souvenirs,
Miscellaneous items that at times mean nothing but an attachment of challenges and accomplishments; yet none define who you truly are on the inside.

Copyright © Cynthia Ulloa
All rights reserved.