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Dougie Simps Mar 2014
You can replace me,
I'm expendable, I'm replaceable
I was a moment, you were a scene
In a movie that we developed
Of an unexpecting dream.

The one that came with the kiss on the forehead goodnight
The one that came with the ability to calmly sleep at night
I remember...(laughing) I remember these moments
& at times I know you do too.. I know you still feel my hands in yours...I know...nothing. I can't think this through...
I know when I breath this cold air, my lungs start to freeze, but how can you convince a scared mind to tell the heart to truly see what it wants to see? Me. I know when I look up at the stars, my heart starts to beat..I knew when I heard the door open...that was you ready to leave.
I have to stop! I have to take my palms and close them into non aggressive fist, I have to stop holdin on to hope and let go of this. You told me my words were magic..Yet, I can't form a sentence to convince you of our old bliss..

(Closed eyes flashback)
"please! don't! Don't give me one last kiss."* *Sadly I remember this.

The horror of the knife digging deep inside me, the scar I forever walk with.
I can't live like this! and continue to survive on your leftover venom, your seduction through your captivating eyes, your temptation from the shape of your denim.

**Soaked spots on the page,I know my days may get better..I just hope one day this gets to your heart, my eventually heals, I just hope you get this letter.
I hope so
Dougie Simps Mar 2014
I mean...I... I apologized
I attempted to do what makes me most uncomfortable
I Admit. Admit that I needed to commit to something that could of raised happiness, raised my vision. I guess I saw something...it was just an abstract view...I walked into a museum only to misinterpret you.
The sculpture I thought was broken. I thought it was missing pieces...these were my distorted and ignorant views
When the truth is...I'm the broken one...the critic of his own self review
I didn't know...it was sucha short, intense time and quick moment, I guess when they say handle with care...the few chances of opportunity to display your control, are the ones you need to learn to grab on to and hold it. I Regret. What's that? I never look back. I just wish I could of accepted what I knew was important...I wish I could of handled the truth and the facts. Cause I've become someone else. You've brought this newfound inspiration. not as someone you yearn for...this is a person who's supposed to be part of your journey, the friendship of wisdom and honesty in your future creation. I apologize. I'm aware it hasn't been that long. I'm a man of chipped pieces. I'm a sculpture with many flaws. I think I miss the person I felt most comfortable with...not due to feelings, just the fact they cared at all.
She was sucha good friend to begin with...why'd I let her go?
Dougie Simps Mar 2014
Her deception

Her lies

Her stare

Her eyes

The look...

Why do I still fall for your look?

It's because,

I want to believe you...

It's because...

I don't want to leave you.

The look...

She will watch my heart die.

The look...

Why won't you stop staring and help me?

Why?
Just wrote this quick
Dougie Simps Mar 2014
I know you'll read this ****t, I hate when ya submissive
Passive aggressive, when we speak it's like you no longer listen
Can't follow a heart that has fear and clear omission
The Kryptonite from her smile got me making super bad decisions.
Imma just take a few sips of this champagne
The bubbles help close what's ripped open inside, while the alcohol clears the the eyes of this visual pain
To see what you want start to become distant
How can you convince a broken heart of it's deferred commitment?
And try to hold on to a persons resistance...
Your mental obstacles have you blocking all possibilities
looking for all the flaws when you're staring back at me
Cause it's easy to call it quits, simple to flee
I'm not lookin to harm girl, just tryna reach out and please. You...
How can you bloom a flower in a *** full of confusion? How can a couple a days in paradise all turn into an illusion?
I hear what you're saying, you've been hurt girl, that's a classic
hesitant kisses from her lips, think I can taste disaster
While similarities got us seeing who can push away who faster.
I mean..
What qualities in me were you even searching for?
I search for something I'm missing and disappear when I'm bored..but
You don't  have to believe in love anymore
Tried giving you something to look for
Who better for you than the boy? Huh?
Dougie Simps Feb 2014
When you stare at me…
Make sure you look for my flaws
When you stare at me…
Look for my pieces on the floor, from my broken fall…
When you stare at me…
Look at my color dripping from my saturated body paint
When you stare at me…
Don’t perceive me as an angel, don’t identify me as a saint.
When you stare at me…
Do it with disgust, see all those who I have given pain
Stare at me & my demons, locked up in hell’s kitchen,
Forced to stir up evil in a *** mixed with insane.
When you stare at me…
See my mind, see the loss of emotions, and see the hatred I’ve gained
When you stare at me…
See the untamed beast, see the monster who is internally chained
When you stare at me…
Forget all my rights, see all my wrongs
When you stare at me…
Look for my black heart, a pulse that is suddenly gone
When you stare at me…
See my smile that tells a sad story
When you stare at me…
Search for all my losses & mistakes, not my small success & moments of glory
When you stare at me…
I expect nothing less but the dark looks
I expect nothing from those who just stare…
I expect nothing from observers who watch me die & just overlook
Stare at me some more…*
Continue to tell me all the negative you see,
Because those who don’t stare… I love
Those are the few who truly notice me
If you are staring you are judging. Let me be.
Dougie Simps Feb 2014
If you choose to lose, lose your pride
If you choose to gain, gain in mind
Paint a picture, draw a sketch
Not of ignorance but the potential beauty we may have left
The ocean that is created of gold
The simplicity we find in the hearts we freely accept. Which is...

Free will.

The blockade that stops our force of habits to want, to control.
To make someone love you
To make someone become cold.
I can't explain a great idea...
I can't show you the road to glory..
I can lie and deceive an angel
I can kiss her goodnight and tell her the same fantasy stories.
Of a place of imagination
Where ya wildest dreams can run, they can develop their own creation...
As people.

It's free will...

We hold the pallet, we paint our own destination.
I'm crazy
Dougie Simps Feb 2014
(Guitar playing)
It's the twinkle in her eyes...

Her love that she sings...

The idea of happiness, that she brings...

The picture she paints

The writing on the wall......

Girl you're so gifted and I want them all.

(Ohhh yeah)*  I want them all.
Changing it up
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