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98 · May 2021
Draft 973
Delyla Nunez May 2021
Lost and never found.
Yet you keep the game,
High and mighty you stand,
Yet still small and fragile.
To think I thought you were everything,
Turns out you were the nightmare.
97 · Jan 2022
Again
Delyla Nunez Jan 2022

I’ve listed all I’ve done wrong,
I apologized for things out of control.
I continue to speak out,
Yet I’m not doing enough.
I’m not loving enough,
I’m not patient enough,
I am nothing.
They were all right,
Till the very end.

97 · Jun 2021
GABE
Delyla Nunez Jun 2021
slowly all my motivation is slippinG away. becoming lost Again.
But I am terrified of this feeling.
Time for a visit I think,
it’s been far over due my lovE.
96 · Dec 2020
Her Will
Delyla Nunez Dec 2020
Re-learning how to live without will bring trials, but she’ll overcome them.
She always did.
She does it all on her own.  

She was broke way before you met her.
Absolutely exhausted.
Then you came along and made it worse.

But that’s okay. She’s anew.
Growing into the person she was becoming before you came around.

Don’t worry she’ll be alright,
And when the day comes and you see her.
You’ll know it was too late.
96 · Dec 2020
Don’t Think Negative.
Delyla Nunez Dec 2020
This feels stronger than before,
Which means the harder the fall.
Anxiety telling me it won’t be no different.
I try to push past it and sometimes I do.
Sometimes I don’t.

We know who was at fault for everything,
Me because i liked to start ****.
Which is true no doubt,
But now I’m terrified to mess up again.

I want this to be different so bad.
Hope is creeping around everywhere I turn,
But so does that small whisper once and while.

You think it’ll be different, but it won’t.

Merp..
now what can I think.
It’s scary, and I don’t want either of us too hurt.
We did enough of that.
I just hope I can overcome this..
Please let this time be different...
95 · Dec 2020
December 13, 2020
Delyla Nunez Dec 2020
The final act of it all drawing to a close at last and freedom awaits.  
Feeling the air come back in my lungs as I stand in mind.
The spotlight slowly burning out, growing dimmer and dimmer.
But why?
My light should be brighter than ever yet,
It’s dark.
Everywhere I look is black and yet I feel contained?
But I was just about to be free..
what happened..?
At least no one can see me in the dark.
95 · Jan 2022
Returning
Delyla Nunez Jan 2022

I’m crying,
Yet I cry for joy,
For happiness.
I am home,
Safe and sound,
Surrounded by love.
I am home.

94 · Aug 2021
Tries
Delyla Nunez Aug 2021
I’ve tried being the good and bad guy,
My open heart ready to face anything my way.
My safety net is out so it’s okay to fall.
That is till you cut my nets,
Ripping my beautiful heart into nothing.
Left with nothing but hurt and betrayal.
94 · Oct 2021
Freedom
Delyla Nunez Oct 2021
Pure, the light at the end.
A soul so bright.
Yet alone and afraid,
You are not what he says.
Good is in you,
Unlock it all,
Reveal us to you.
Be free,
Because you my dear,
Are free.
Delyla Nunez Nov 2020
Loss is a funny thing.
One minute you’re crying hysterically
And the next
You’re screaming in your mind.
Thinking it’ll be reversed.

Death is final though.
You see we keep their memory alive
And we wonder
Why we are still hurting.

Like waves grief pulls and pushes us
And no matter what
We stand with the tide and let the waves crash down on us.

Consumed by pain, sorrow, and hate.
We cloud our judgement and deem it fit for action,
Until our action
becomes our consequence.

Loss is a tumble of emotions trying to find which one is suitable and appropriate for the occasion.
Never once letting up to let you breathe.

A constant battle to chose which direction to go from here.
The plans to be made and all the while.
Pretending to be okay.
RIP to those gone.
92 · May 2021
Draft 364
Delyla Nunez May 2021
I hope you do leave,
I hope you never see my face.
This was the hardest thing to do,
And you still spit at my face.
You are the worst and I pray,
Pray,
Pray,
You get wha
T
You deserve.
I hope you’re done with the fake accounts,
Because now I know better.
91 · May 2021
Anxiety Attacked
Delyla Nunez May 2021
It’s falling to the floor and not having the energy to get up.
It’s having an anxiety attack when you can’t find your comfort item because your room got cleaned  
It’s trying your hardest not to scream out loud so you don’t have to go back.
A minute of hysteria and numb.
90 · May 2021
Time
Delyla Nunez May 2021
I will wipe my own tears,
Take in my own breath,
For I know it’ll be years.
89 · Aug 2021
Draft 2
Delyla Nunez Aug 2021
My happiness is decided on those around,
The ones I choose to stay in my life.
Containing all of my being,
Crazed thoughts run through,
It gets hard to breath.
And relaxed.
89 · Dec 2020
Hopes of Her Death.
Delyla Nunez Dec 2020
I’ve always hopes to die in my sleep,
Lost in my endless dreams of wonder and loss.
Soundless.
Perfect.

No one would say something otherwise.
Or know for that matter.
Which is fine.
To be alone means less to hurt.

That’s the purpose.
Have less.
Hurt less.
Know no one.
Keep to yourself.
That’s the rule.

Thus dying in ones sleep,
Would be the perfect way to go.
Nothing more after that.  

No pain.
No love.
No happiness.
Nothing is just what I needed.
88 · Aug 2021
Dreams
Delyla Nunez Aug 2021
Three people.
You him and I.
We met up in Cruces,
It was grand.
We all got a long,
Shots are fired and there you are on the floor.
There is a pool of red and i,
I am kneeling to you and crying.
He pulls me off and we leave you.
I awaken and tears are down my cheeks,
One thought comes to mind.
“Please be okay.”
87 · May 2021
Abused
Delyla Nunez May 2021
I scream.
I plea.
I beg.
Leave me alone,
I no longer want you.
I do not desire you,
I am suffering from within.
I am speaking and I am screaming leave me alone.
I am kicking and fighting to not use the tools necessary for death.
A trigger is what you are and nothing I say makes you think twice.
Slowly I am crumbling again after just standing and I sit on my bed as tears roll down my cheeks.
Praying and wishing for someone to notice and someone to take me and go.
Please I beg you.
No more..
87 · Nov 2020
November 27, 2020
Delyla Nunez Nov 2020
Lied to your face again.
And I will allow you to think of “how easy it is for me”
Because I deserve it.
I deserve the anger you have towards me.  
Or not.
I prefer not.
I can’t say that I love you because..
I slept with someone else.
I retaliated in a way that disgust me,
But that’s as it should be.

To stay stuck and horrid.

Every ounce of hope and regret is being pushed out of my mind.
We could never be.
Not with that hanging over my head.

You forgave me though.

I still can’t do it.
How could I?
With what I have done, I can’t excuse it.
I need to be here where I’m at.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be strong.
I know you wished for me to be the me you wanted.
I’m sorry I allowed myself to be engulfed by you again.

Your mere presence calms my soul.
I’m at peace,
But it’s wrong. I can’t accept it.
Too much has been done.
I’m so sorry..
87 · Jan 2022
Returning to Me.
Delyla Nunez Jan 2022

He makes me quit drinking when I have my episodes,
He hides the knives I use on myself.
The words against him are vile,
Yet he returns it with a sweet smile,
And a soft I love you.
Continuously murmuring reassuring thoughts,
Even outside of a bathroom door he sits and waits.
He knows it’s just me,
My anger,
My Ptsd,
The once and final time using.
Letting him come through the door,
He kneels and holds the broken.
Caressing her frazzled short hair,
Wiping the tear stained cheeks.
A smile forms on his lips,
A gentle kiss to my nose,
“Welcome back my love, how do you feel?”

He always tells me that each episode is better than the one last. He makes me stay sober longer and longer. We just stay in the clouds without the liquor. He definitely is making me change for the better. My save and grace.
86 · May 2021
Freedom
Delyla Nunez May 2021
Bliss,
Sanity,
Peace.
No more reprimands.
No more being put down.
Ready to live the life I will make.
A better aspect of life.
Loving only myself.
Soaring,
Leading,
Growing.
84 · Jul 2021
Draft 40
Delyla Nunez Jul 2021
He holds me in a way I am safe,
The warmth of his touch comforting.
A safe space is what he is,
All of my worries and doubts,
Gone.
Every emotion and thought
Carefully calibrated in mind to helping me.
You are an abundance of everything
Yet nothing.
Maybe that is what attracted me to
Only you.
83 · May 2021
Draft 63
Delyla Nunez May 2021
No matter where I go,
Where the winds of change flow.
That’s where I’ll be waiting,
For you and you alone.
83 · Dec 2020
I Hope
Delyla Nunez Dec 2020
I can’t wait for it. New opportunities and many more people to meet. To kiss new lips and not think about you.
Finding someone else.
Because I’m a ***** and my legs can spread so easily.


To think I almost let you get the best of me. Taking a hold of my heart once more and ripping it into pieces again.
But it’s okay I was already broken.

If you knew what you were talking about,
I wouldn’t hate you as much as I do now.
I’m so thankful for seeing the real you.
So glad that I didn’t fall into your game.

You must be pleased with yourself. You won and there’s nothing left.
And now this is the part where we go.
Build up again.
Grow again.
Trust again.
Love again.
We can wait or we can start.
83 · Jan 2022
Draft 83
Delyla Nunez Jan 2022

Gentle circles are made on your back,
A light snore makes it’s way to your lips.
Lips I’ve touched thrice over,
Lips that’ve consumed my being.
Everlasting.

83 · May 2021
Words and Meanings
Delyla Nunez May 2021
Toxic,
Whittling the fabrication of our lives.
Stuck,
An abundance of lost trust over time.
Depressive,
Losing all hope.
82 · Dec 2020
December 16, 2020
Delyla Nunez Dec 2020
Every time after we talk I’m stuck in my anxiety.
Lost in my thoughts as they flip through all the good and of course,
All the bad.
Watching everything go by like a movie.

My stomach clenching like I’m doing a plank.
Shaky hands and sweaty palms.  
For what though?
You can’t hurt me and I hurt you.
Going two different directions.

So why are we making these excuses to communicate?
Is it really that hard to let each other go?
Who knows but,
I don’t like it.
82 · Aug 2021
Draft 10
Delyla Nunez Aug 2021
You are like a drug,
Consuming my well being.
Taking advantage the only way you know you can.
Yet here I sit wishing for things to be different,
To be someone else to you.
We cannot go back to how it was,
This is what acceptance is for me.
To live freely yet stably,
Without you on my side.
80 · May 2021
Untitled
Delyla Nunez May 2021
Delete,
Burn,
Repeat.
77 · Nov 2021
Draft 77
Delyla Nunez Nov 2021
You were my Hercules.
You gave me my soul again,
Yet reconfigured.
My love for you was/is everlasting.
You were the gasoline I wanted,
Needed,
Dousing my fire with what we called love.
I miss you some days,
I crave you most days.
Yet everyday I wish I never met you.
75 · Jan 20
Meeting you.
Delyla Nunez Jan 20
When running to you,
everything is electric,
The sounds,
your touch,
the breeze.
As I run to you,
Without hesitation,
A sense of longing,
Safety,
Security.
While I run to you,
I remember how glad I was,
Happiness,
Loved.
Embraced by your arms of love,
And i remember once again,
How much I love running into you.
C.R.R
72 · May 2021
Draft 83
Delyla Nunez May 2021
Silenced,
Degraded,
Belittled.
None of which can explain,
The depth of the pain in given.
Writing on paper to escape this world,
Only to turn into anger.

Rage,
Resentment,
Fury.
The coarse of red seeping into my eyes,
My thoughts are muddled and distasteful.
My heart pounding in distraught.

And now left with a mangled body,
Ready for those who take and take,
Knowing I won’t get what was taken.
71 · Nov 2021
To Start The Day…
Delyla Nunez Nov 2021
Waking up I feel secure,
An arm over my waist.
A warm breath covers my neck.
I move and I’m held closer.
Protected.
Wiggling to turn towards you,
I see peace and tranquillity.
No worry line in sight.
I kiss your nose,
Your cheek,
And then your lips.
You move to my lips,
A soft exhale escapes your lips.
“Good Morning My Love.”
69 · May 2021
Untitled
Delyla Nunez May 2021
I’m sad for you,
Losing the greatest thing in the world.
One who pushed you,
One who loved completely,
One who gave their all after three years.
To be the second chance you weren’t,
As shown.
Taken everything given and nothing to return.
Alone again to chose the direction to go,
You chose to go backwards.
Manipulated her,
Being around those who are trivial,
Words to make her crumble.
But why,
Because she had enough?
68 · Dec 2020
December 25, 2020
Delyla Nunez Dec 2020
It’s time for joy and harmony.
Singing the classic carols we all know and love.
To be with your family and significant other.

My biggest joke of 2020.
To be alone on Christmas is nothing.
I’ve been through worse,
Not like anyone will ask for me or about me.

I’m suppose to be cheerful and bright,
But yet I’m doubtful and trite.
The loneliness I feel is indescribable,
My anger is consuming me,
Thoughts going about in my mind are toxic.

But you can’t run from yourself.
67 · Dec 2020
Again.
Delyla Nunez Dec 2020
It’s happening. The darkness. The old friend that enjoys my torment.
Driving me into my old ways.
Cuts on my wrists, thighs, shoulders.
Even work couldn’t distract me.

Failure.
Not loyal.
Ugly.
Disappointment.
Disgrace.
******.

Many more words playing in my mind.
Yes I have to destroy myself. What does it matter.
It doesn’t.
Not anymore.

I drove Gabe away only for him to die.
I drove you away only for you to be wrong.
You both never knew me at all.
All nights are shadowed by your memories.

All I can do is keep the blood flowing.
Until I can forget myself.
She’s gone.
67 · Dec 2020
December 10, 2020
Delyla Nunez Dec 2020
Sometimes I feel like I can’t feel anything.
What would be the point?  
To be in an endless hope and stagnant love?

Im glad you chose her.
It makes sense, all signs point to her and I’m just
Me.

Nothing special.
Never was..

Shoot even for my little sisters party.
Still treated like I’m less.
But I should be used to it.
Right?
61 · Dec 2020
El Chiste
Delyla Nunez Dec 2020
To think I almost ******* believed it.
Of course I’m the joke.
I hurt you so ******* bad and I’m the one making lies.

Funny how you can’t do no wrong yet when I bring it up,
Tell you how you’re acting,
We can just brush it off.

Last I checked none of your so-called friends gave a **** about you almost killing yourself the three times you almost did.

I was made the joke to care for you.
Worry about you.
It was *******.
So thanks for making me home
You made me believe and you destroyed it. Thanks.
Delyla Nunez Aug 2020
I hate it when I see you.
I hate it when we kiss.
Just the fact of knowing you kills me.
Even though i'm safe from your clutches,
doesn't mean i'm safe.
I hate the fact that everytime were together,
we fall for each other.
Leave me be, let me find happiness.
I can't take it no more,
it causes to much pain.
I hate it when we touch.
I hate the fact I still Love you
Rip.. 04082018
54 · Jan 2021
We’re done.
Delyla Nunez Jan 2021
I’m finally out.
From your lies you told the cops to have you run free.
I gave you compromise.
I gave you a home, not much but it was a roof.
I tried to give us a life.

I told the cops as little as possible hoping you’d do the same. In the end.
I was still the joke.
Apparently I stabbed you, broke your phone. The worst part.
I remember every detail because I couldn’t be drunk around you.

You hurt me in the worst possible manner.
You gave me a felony to fight.
Lord know I will fight.
Glad to be gone from you. Never to hear of you again. Stay away and stay gone.
48 · May 2021
Pity card
Delyla Nunez May 2021
Of course.
Never the fault at blame but I.
Your forever the purest.
All lies of course.
Going backwards instead of forwards.
Yet here you sit,
Sitting with pity.
Shame such high hopes,
Just to see it dwindle more and more into
Nothingness.
47 · Nov 2020
You and you alone
Delyla Nunez Nov 2020
She cannot say she misses you.
She cannot say she loves you.
She cannot say how proud she is of you.
She cannot say all these things about you when it was...
Always tormented by the wrongs and always expecting them to be the same.
Her mental is guarded, her vision clouded, and her voice...
When she hears your voice her heart aches.
Reading your messages and seeing you cross every line precious...
Feeling beaten and bruised by the thoughts of their memory.
She grabs her head and screams remembering her smile; a smile only you could conjure up.
Yet even then tears still streak her face.
You caused her unbelievable pain, yet you did nothing but wallow in yours and accused her of starting.. things..
Things being thrown in a room and a door breaking down on her; glass littered the floor leaving twinkles in its wake.
She is back in reality, and her cheeks continued to be covered in tears
45 · Nov 2021
Untitled
Delyla Nunez Nov 2021
Look at you darling,
A being so bright.
A returning smile that’s anew,
A vibrant willpower.
45 · Nov 2020
Fight Club
Delyla Nunez Nov 2020
I have so much to say and choosing the right words is
Complicated.
My heart hurts again. Just like the day two years ago.
Why?
Is it really that hard?
I wonder these things and I try to be fine to think.
But when I do my heart just breaks.
My chest tightens with the rest of my body and I am curled into a ball on my bed.
It’s all too confusing and I don’t know how much I got left. I don’t know how many tears I’ve wept.
I’m tired.
I’ve dodged too many punches and I’m out of breath. So I’ll stop moving.
K.O.
36 · Dec 2020
Weeds
Delyla Nunez Dec 2020
It grows.
We pick it.
Breaking it up.
Roll it, or pack it.
Smoke it.

The euphoria of this plant.
Calming the anxiety inside.
Clearing the thoughts to be thought of
Individually.

Light it up.
Inhale.
Exhale.

Everything makes sense again.
If it numbs me then by all means continue,
If not then help me grow like you do.
After all that’s just what plants do
36 · Sep 2020
Untitled
Delyla Nunez Sep 2020
You accuse me of something I didn’t do,
and you go on thinking ima do it too.
You say you love me when you know it’s not true, but forgive me when I tell you not to come through.
You beat down on my walls and I’m not surprised when I tell you you’re like all the guys.
I have Mexican blood coursing through my vains, but it’s not the same as your native ways.
I fight for my rights the same as yours,
So you can’t tell me to get down on all fours.
My pride is strong and made to perfection,
So I won’t get let down by your depression.
Don’t try to come at me with your accusations,
Trying to tell me it’s not manipulation.
You keep telling me you’re gonna do better,
I see your fight and it comes through pride,
So don’t sit there and tell me what’s mine.

— The End —