There’s a small voice screaming.
Begging.
Crying.

It sits on the floor,
Legs pressed to its chest
Screams.

Blood starts to run down its arms,
Never did I notice.
How could I miss such detail.

It’s dying.
Begging for its life.
Hoping for another chance.
But it never would.

The deed is done.

I knew all along.
I should’ve listened.
I knew you didn’t want me,
Just this idea of her that you see in me.

It’s always been her.
I knew it was, and I tried to push it before starting this.
But you had convinced me it wasn’t.

It was just a cover up for you.
You thought I didn’t know.
The way you write about her,
Talk about her.

Those seven letter and one word.
That’s who it was meant to be.
After all I shouldn’t be hurt;
I knew it all along.

I’m truly alone.
No one to be my rock.
My shoulder to cry on.

Nothing but an endless stream of tears,
Constantly running down my face.
The people I need the most can’t be there.

One is busy with family things.
The other is hung up on their bestfriend.
I cried myself to sleep last night.

No one was there to hold me; no one there to wipe my tears.
Truly I am alone

Do you understand how hard it is for someone?
The ability they have to conquer any situation.
To face not only the outside world, but themselves.

The toxicity of their bad habits clinging onto them for dear life.
Pulling and scratching to control,
Fight back with everything they have.

But it’s those days where they are able to win the fight.
The feeling of accomplishment.
Rejoicing in the ambience.

Thankful and grateful.
Now they keep going.
Forward.

Fight or flight.
Well with what’s happening.

I choose flight.

You know,
You’re pretty believable.
I was starting to trust you again.
Crazy.

Crazy to think I almost fell for it again.
Almost thinking that it would be worth it.
Love conquers all right?  
Lies.

One name.
Seven letters.
Perfectly capable to say for any human being but,
That human being is you.

Im trying.
I truly am trying.
When we are doing so well and then I forget.
She’s still around.

They may or may not have been lies.
I can’t tell at this point,
Just struggling to make peace with it.

I don’t know how to be okay with the fact that you love her too.
Both romantically and pragmatic.
Im doing my best.

I swear it.