It is for the best,
I’m not good.
I can’t trust, listen or love.

No matter what I must do this,
Because people don’t change.
Me included.

You’re going to linger in the back of my mind.
How could you not?
I loved you.

Now that we are going our separate ways
I can’t help but be happy and proud of you.
You’re going places and I’m working on my ****.

You have the love of your life and I have mine,
In my memories and heart.
Yours so close and near to hold.
Truly glad we are getting it where it needs.

No more calls and texts from you,
I hope.
No more nicknames,
Even though they were cute.
No more saying I love you,
Because we don’t need too.
Not anymore

I finally did it. I deleted those pictures.
Everything about you is gone.
I’m glad, took longer than expected
But it’s done.

I finally sleep through the night.
Not feeling what I felt thanks to your lies.
Actually moving on.

So why try to message me.
That I will never understand

I wear your hoodie still.
The bulldawgs logo still in place perfectly on the grey colored scheme.
Keeping me safe.
My protection.

Crazy to think it’ll almost be three years.
Two years and 10 months to be exact.
Ever so often I wish it could’ve been different.

Even so you’re somehow still around.
Slightly haunting my thoughts and surroundings.
A faint whisper of my name echos in your voice.
The small sensation of your arms around me.

Every so often I do cry for you.
Yearning to hear your laugh and seeing your mischievous crooked grin.
You teasing me until we cried tears of laughter.

Some days I think you’re right next to me,
Pushing me forward and giving me a small nudge of
“It’s going to be okay scrub.”

Going down the roads we used to be on.
Memories of the great times and the bad ones.
Never a dull moment in those times.
Now only I can remember them.

You were truly the love of my life.
I couldn’t have been more grateful to have known you.
Thank you for loving me.

The sky is as dark as my heart.
I cause nothing but disaster and despair.
I don’t need help with being me down,
I do a good enough job as is.

The world is **** and I do no better.
All I ask is for pity.
A slap on the wrist.
Get out of jail free card.

Even with as low as I am,
I’d still never go back to you.
Ever.

I ruined you as you ruined me.
There’s nothing to take back, no way to fix it.
Just leave me be and I
Will leave you be.

One day I won’t have you in the back of my mind.
When I won’t wake up at 3:30-4 in the morning  hoping you’re awake.
Not having to cry when I think of all the things you said to me.
The lines you’ve crossed, never to torment me again.

I’ll be able to go and find someone who is truly worthy of me.
Someone to put as the blame wouldn’t cross their mind.
Being patient with me knowing how I am.
Someone to truly love me.
One day.

I wished you leave me alone.
Leave me be and let me wallow in the chaos we caused.
More lies you say as you twist my words.
I always want the last word though.
Stubbornness.
I have to win, but what am I winning?

I don’t understand why you keep coming back. You just won’t stay away, even when I leave you alone.
Using my poems to see where my heads at.
Knowing I won’t tell you.
And I never will.

I hate that you think we are going to be together when me and my friend know it won’t.
Thinking I’m here for pity.
Never needed it in the first place.

You can go and leave me alone.
I’ll be here, the same girl.
*****.
****.
Murderer.
Unloyal.
Hopeless.