i used to write poems about you
and here we are texting each other like we're best friends.
like the good old days

sometimes i wish we were together.
i could hold your hand and love you,
hug you tight and kiss you.

but we're not meant to be..
maybe we shouldn't be texting.
maybe i should let you go

your smile,
your scent,
your eyes,
and the way they wrinkle at the sides.

your chest,
your face,
your hands,
that love to hold mine.

your charm,
your laugh,
your shy moments
that make me giggle

your tears,
your anger,
your fears
that no one else has seen.

your love,
your voice,
your touch
is what i live for.

your nose,
your lips,
your waist
that i put my arms around.

your tongue,
your mind,
your soul
that i love every inch of.

your hair,
your clothes,
your heart
that i hold so dearly
next to mine.

we both know
we won't last.

i regret so much telling you i loved you too.
Here we are, tears streaming down our faces
as if we've already broken up

i can't look at you
but you tilt my chin up.
you tell me to forget all that we've said
but i know you won't.

we're not meant to be.
your life and mine

never should have intertwined in the first place
i never should have fallen in love with you.

My hands are shaking
i can't breathe
my tears won't stop flowing down my cheeks
my chest aches
and my hands are cold.
I really don't want to be alone.

You pressed your lips to mine
and held my face in your hands.
But now you say we're just friends.

i knew you were trouble.
you say you're not the right guy for me,
but you're the guy i want.
you say you aren't over your past
well neither am i.

**** me for falling for you.
I should have known better.

It's hard to put into words
how you make me feel.
Every time i see i have a text from you,
my heart skips three beats
and i need to catch my breath.

When i meet you,
looking into your eyes
renders me speechless
and all i can do is hope
i don't look like a toad to you.

Do you know you're giving me
these little heart attacks?
What are you thinking when you stare at me?
What do you feel when you ask to meet me?

Am i simply another girl you know..?

*I don't want to be.

You said i was your best friend,
but never once did you say it to my face.
You never took selfies with me
and you never texted me first.
You never tried to hold onto our friendship.

You said you'd always be there for me.
but where were you
when i broke up with the man i loved?
Oh that's right, you were hanging out with him.

Instead of inviting me over to your house
for ice cream to hug me and tell me he's a ******,
you were out with him,
telling him that he deserved better.

How dare you say we were best friends
when you never once acted like i was even close to you.
you were my whole world
i loved you.
i spoke up for you when others brought you down.
i picked up your pieces of **** you left on the ground
without complaint
and you did nothing for me.

I swam oceans for you.

But now,
you're on your own.

You have cut me up
and placed me beside other
shinier, redder apples.
you've given disapproving glares
and shaken your head,
arms akimbo.

You're trying to keep me in a box,
away from the "dangerous" world outside
but then you'd shake your fists
at my browning flesh
and putrid body.

I'm just an apple.
Why can't you see me for what i am?
I'm not the biggest
nor the juiciest.
I have yellow spots on my skin
and bruises on my flesh.

Why don't you love me?
Why can't you stop
comparing
and judging
and complaining?

You are my apple tree.
you made me.
Why can't you see
I'm trying
to be the best apple
that i can be?

It's not enough.
it's never enough.

I'm. Not enough.
and i never will be.