In your love,

I knew redemption.
I found trust,
A wealth of beauty in dark glories.
I saw stars
under heartless skies.
Alpha and Omega.
Endless.
I saw life incandescent,
A world beyond my own.

In your love,

I gained
and lost everything.

I've decided to forget you.
Each stray thought,
Each reminiscence —
Is now just a loveless reminder.
A sentimental stab.
So,
I've decided to forget.
No longer
Will sad associations be traded
with meaningless facts.
No more
Tangential heartache.
No
Hastily covered tears.
Just slow burning
Synaptic ruin.
Our secrets,
Our dreams of the sea —
Washed away.

I learned the truth,
Today.
I heard the anger and pain
In your voice.
We're strangers again,
somehow.
No affection.
No trust.
We bark and bite.
Trying to wound.
Trembling.
The strength I had  —
Forgotten,
Like those sweet
whispered moments.
I long to leave it far behind.
To sleep in peaceful arms
and forget...
The sun is ******.
The birds don't fly.
All that once knew love
has died.

Through strange
misfortune
Astral coincide,
Our paths crossed.
Signals passed
Tangential sorrow
Connected
Unlikely fellows.
abstract
code
Pointed, slyly
To your door.
You helped me see
The world anew.

At times I try
To curb my misanthropic ways.
I try to see the beauty,
Inherent in "our kind".
Instead
I see the greed
         the selfishness
         the vanity.
I see you
Scuttling like ants.
Mindless as cattle.
The individual
Feeble
Uninspired
Disappointing.
I'm poisoned by
your presence.
compromised
thru proximity
you.
you make me sick.
This dreadful fate —
...
I think I died
And
This is Hell.

Her smile stands like a porcelain lock,
lips closed like the red doors
to the Forbidden city.
Those blood-washed memories
will never dry in closed rooms.
Rust grows under her fingernails
smelling of iron and salt,
destroying the magic.
Her mixed drinks, peroxide and pain killers,
sleeping pills
stand on the nightstand,
after her one night stands,
leave the door standing open.
The cat knocked the glass over,
stained the carpet.
She locks the door again,
blotting the stain with her hair,
she chokes on the dust.
Swallows down the myrrh
to make her breath sweet,
wash the blood from her teeth.
The plastic wrap party dress
clings to the bruises,
and she paints it black with old mascara stains
and phone bills,
taping the pieces of herself together
with promises of old lovers.
The door opens
The lips lock,
porcelain smile.

Sing in the greyness, the darkness.
Twine it round your fingers
round the staff lines
you carved into your legs.
Black white and red
what have we anymore?
Dame Misfortune Madam
of whorish time,
who waits for no man.
Which came first?
See who lit the cigarette last,
see, he puts his trousers on
one at a time.
Eternity in a nutshell,
the universe in an eggshell,
and we brewed beer in them
to get rid of the changeling thoughts,
though mother heated the shovel
iron hot, it glowed
black white and red.
Flicker, dance-- does it live?
Do we live?
Even when we can see the end?
Blindfolded fortune, justice,
says no,
twisting ribbons round her fingers
black, white and red.

The red scarf looks best on me.
It's the first time I've gone somewhere alone
here, in months.
It's growing bitterly cold,
I understand why the wind
might hate the human race,
having blown us about for the past million odd years
and finding that we rarely end up in the right direction.
He tugs at my hair, and the clouds
as I troop down the sidewalk,
the cat who walked by herself
I think.
Something like an independent streak
that rarely rears its head.
Might as well make the most of it
while I have the courage.

Looking for lost lover's names
in a sea of make-believe.
Name, what is in a name?
Roses and ******* smell the same
no matter what you call them.
Meaning, memory, response,
or the lack thereof.
I was always one to hope
for things already gone.