No, I am not perfect.
I am far from being flawless.
I have a lot of insecurities.
I'm a walking mess.

Don't get fooled with my fake confidence.
Deep inside me is full consciousness.

The bags under my eyes, my uneven skintone.
I am afraid to show it all.

People will talk behind me,
everyone hates ugly.

Don't get fooled with what you see outside,
I am not perfect, i hope you understand.

and now i realize,
i don’t want happiness 

anymore

i just want less loneliness

nothing more.

I didn't want to be your second option.
I didn't want to be someone you never noticed.
I never wanted to be left behind.

But i can still see myself
coming to you
even if i'm aware
you will not choose me
over her.

You come to me,
you only see
my existence
when you need
something.

And I hate myself
for hoping that,
you will need
something
from me.

Somethimes, I am afraid
that these voices
inside my head
will leave me in the end.

Because I am more afraid that
in that moment,
Loneliness will haunt me
all over again.

A sudden feeling of sadness,
voices and screams that are field with hatred.

Heart that beats so fast,
lungs that beg for air.

Hands are shaking,
feeling of wanting to vanish.

My thoughts wont leave,
these voices stay.

I don't know what to do,
I feel so blue.

Feeling of self-doubt,
where is the way out?

She is the sun but she doesn't know
She looks at herself into something low
but you can see, how much she glows
so bright, i hope she knows.