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 Nov 2017 natalie
Irate Watcher
chocolate-coated infancy
spilled torn sharkbit souls
hallucinating the
orange-creamsicle sunrise,
mushroomming cotton-candylike.
Sanctified, the horizon
of dog lovers empty,
but leashes lashing the common man,
for he is no icon.
Trying something new.
 Nov 2017 natalie
xei
coffee
 Nov 2017 natalie
xei
He stood fifty times his height,
his palms pressed against the glass
separating him from the road in their glamour;
blurred images of car in their splendor –
and there isn’t the
familiar scent of coffee –
I call this pandemonium.

Nothing beats a day in a café
redolent of the finest Arabica,
he’d inhale deeply and recall :
unroasted gives the sweetest scents
of blueberries –
roasted’s entirely different:
fruit, sugar, perfume –
They call this addiction.

Mnemonic – a wind chime
lost in the array of winds.
“You used to be my cup of tea –
I drink coffee now.”
These words slip out of his dry lips,
and a lone tear trickles down a milky cheek;

They all say if they’ve got love,
they don’t need money –

And he’d say if he’s got coffee,
he doesn’t need love –
He calls this heaven.
 Nov 2017 natalie
Dreamer
I dream, sometimes,
of slicing open my arm
just out of curiosity--
not of self-harm.

I would run my knife
down the pale hide
whilst being oh so careful
not to damage what's inside.

With four metal clamps,
I would pry back the skin.
Through this, I could see
the flexing muscle within.

After I've had my fill,
I would suture the flesh.
Satisfied till the morrow,
having fulfilled this request.
 Nov 2017 natalie
Lost for words
You said you knew the truth for me
And whispered it on the breeze
You opened up your heart to me
Then pushed me to my knees
You painted out a world for us
Full of sun and smiles
Then you put your words into reverse
and back-tracked several miles
You promised eternal friendship
Beyond all other ties
Your open mouth let snakes fall out
The serpents of your lies
I sent my dove over blackened seas
Olive branch in beak
You turned your back and walked away
So, which one of us is weak?
 Nov 2017 natalie
Lost for words
A library book
I need to read
A bad habit
I need to feed
A borrowed man
Who'll never be mine
Always on
Someone else's time
You always take
And never give
But you're a chapter
I need to live
I know I'll get hurt
I know it's wrong
But I wanted you
For oh so long
I can deal with
the degradation;
"I can resist anything,
except temptation."
 Nov 2017 natalie
Lost for words
uh-oh
You're too slow
didn't even see where the red ones go
wasting your eyeline on waves and hares
but the animals only go in by pairs
keep it moving, don't be late
you can't hide when there's too much on your plate
sweating like a cheddar in the midday sun
thinking too much for anything to be done
time trickles through your fingers like a leaking tap
the tide waits for no man so mind the ****** gap
load it up, baby, pose and pout
shake that *** and move it out
dance with the devil, run with the wolves
pride is the sin of he who falls.
 Oct 2017 natalie
Remmy
Why do you go in the water at night doesn't it scare you
Why yes it does
But that's why I love it
It's the one time I'm afraid for a reason other people are too
And along with the fear I feel relief
Relief from wanting to **** myself
Because while I'm in this dark black water with no moonlight
If I were to die it wouldn't be my fault
It wouldn't be because I slit my wrists it wouldn't be my fault
It would be because I drowned on accident
Or a shark came and ate me
Or I died of pneumonia
They wouldn't write in my obituary that I struggled and eventually committed suicide
They would write what an amazing kid I was and that God took their little angel away too soon
Just for a while my death isn't on my shoulders
So yes I am afraid but I'm also liberated
 Oct 2017 natalie
mirandy
i thought
i saw your name
on the bottom
of my last bottle
it wrapped around my tongue
i couldn't speak
couldn't breathe
you were like a snake
who i didn't want to let go
i tried spitting your name
back out
*but i couldn't even give that back
 Oct 2017 natalie
Haruhi
 Oct 2017 natalie
Haruhi
There is no time I wouldn't think about you
Your sweet smile that always turns my knees  into jelly
Your eyes that speak plenty of feelings
and your lips that tastes like a candy i never tasted before
I miss you
I miss the feeling of loving you
I miss the little things about you
I miss your touch
I miss your sweet gestures
I still love you
even though it hurts so much
i miss you so much. please come back to me.
 Oct 2017 natalie
Nat Lipstadt
"gravity has taken better men than me
just keep me where the light is"...John Clayton Mayer

where the light is...
this lyric gets carried from midnight to midnight next,
from troubled sleep to the bus stop, to and from work,
onto, back to, the homebound bus stop once again,
from solitary man to father to grandfather and cycles back
to once again a troubled sleeper poem writer,
who just wants to know, John,

when I find it, will, does the light fill, complete and heal the cracks...when I find that light...

in the city, starlight been banished by street lamps pointed downward, far too often it is believable that the whole world has been wrapped in white crinkled, filmy, wax paper, then,
how will the light know where it is needed most,
how will it find the empty chest cavity that writes these lines

there is real and artificial they say, nature vs. man made,
sun upon the face that heals for but an eight minute
bandaid summer ferry crossing, the fluorescent that says here, here is the bus stop, tarry, sit and rest, while you wait for
answer unscheduled, on a bench beneath to the street light
that illuminates a small swatch of street
between the dark spots on the x-ray of
this patient patient's soul awaiting,
are either of those
the light I need John?

no worries man, I'm just teasing, well knowing, neither of us,
tables turned, know where the light is, up high, down low,
if it is yellow or gold, if light is real or imagined,
only the sensation of the curettage needed to be healed when the
chest drained and the light supplants the drained fluids,
when it interferes, interpolates, how it found me or I it,
how I recognized it, how it reignited the home fire, and
I'll drop you line how light, lightly to find or be heavy found,
how light supersedes, defeats, the gravity of daily tugging,
and how what happens afterwards is golightly
up to us

2:10am **** it
now children, go back to your silly little love pretense poems and pretend you never read this
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