Anxiety is a **** curse.
You are sabotaged by your own body and mind.
It twists your reality like it's in your DNA.
Makes you believe you are not worthy or friendships,
love or even your own reflection.
Choices come in small, extra small or sleep until it's over.
Doubting the safety of the ride to work
or if staying in bed will **** you first.
Is it better to be sick or cry.
To shake apart or hold it together.
Intrusive thoughts are a plague
but maybe you'll die from that too.
Your heart reminds you it can stop at any moment
and to prove the point it then beats so loud
even the dog can hear it.
You don't know why it happens
because your brain is on lock down
and there's nothing you can do about it.
Your very bones betray you
shaking like they have nothing better to do..
like hold you up.
Anxiety takes you hostage
and the ransom you pay
is the freedom of feeling normal.

Blossoms are the
Hopes and dreams
Attached to the thorny
Stems of life
We all have to climb
To smell the roses

I doubt
material wealth
means anything
in the afterlife
on the off chance
that I'm wrong
bury me
with my books
and my plastic owl.

your absence is
like the aftermath
of the storm

i'm left to wonder
whether i prefer
the desperate
insanity you blew
into my life

or the deadly
silence.