Ache wakes you,
Crumbles blue,
Inconclusive.

Sleep is elusive,
Heart break takes you,
Like a lover indefinite,
Incubated in secrets,
Cold formality,
Biology and chemical reality,
A function of command.
A dark rorschach crushed heart and a broken hand,
Ache awakes you,
We've broken through.
Inconclusive,
Ideal,
New.

Funny how the soft touch of your hand,
Is home to me,
laughable the way you're
drawn to me.
And your heart
Is the best way to get the data,
From my crashing mainframe,
To back me up,
Without condemnation,
You're familiar without failure,
And yet we fail each other daily,
But hope,
Makes your embrace- HOME.

Thirst is strange and tragic death,
Waiting for it to fall,
The delicate spring bloom,
In your kiss,
As petals undo their
Meandering,
In puddles.
Only to be washed helpless-
Spun and pulled under,
In a smile,
That does not know
The reason,
Is so the peaches and honeysuckle may sing,
And rivers may return to rain.
Just as kings pass the mantle
To their offspring,
I pass my heart,
To your pomegranate and pearl
Fingers,
Be gentle for it is the last of its kind.
Treasure it darling,
For so many others to its value,
Have been cold,  cruel and blind.

eyes upward,
catching stars,
lifting crickets out of the silence,
sweet summer breeze,
touches my shoulders and cheek,
it's late,
where have you been my sweet escape?
How long have you hidden from
this longing heart?
a silent celebration,
confetti and ticker tape,
fingers entwined,
passing cars,
rumble in the distance,
like sighing giants,
they see our hearts falling in love,
and smile at the magic,
the magic that is yours and mine,
the moments our hearts,
like planets,
align.

Is it with regret and shame
You speak my name?
Or have you forgotten the promises,
You made in my arms?

Staring at a blank text,  
Wishing my heart would stop aching so I could find words to express
This ocean.

So dive into this headlong,  
Lord knows the hearts already been broken.

What have I to lose?

These three years are a bleached,
bitterly bluegray frozen, tundra-
full of shallow graves,
where I have buried my companions,
dreams,
and thin ice,
traveled with careful steps,
cherished occasional fires,
to warm the permafrost around my heart,
I follow ghosts made of frost,
who seldom speak,
but never fail to remind me that I am lost.

I hate that we ever met.
That I love you silently still.
I hate that your voice still haunts
My afternoons and my silence.
Anime & DS games remind me of you. Intimate kisses as affection grew. Watching sailor moon and skyping for weeks at a time. Until the weekend when I drove all night- to hold you.
I hate that you were mine. I'd never felt so completely loved and loved so deeply,  and I hate that I know your kiss.
I hate that we shared moments of bliss.
I hate this. I wish I could pay to forget your eyes,  
The curve of your smile and the feel of my hand on your thighs as we danced barefoot and walked along the ocean shore.  I hate that you abandoned me when I needed you most.
I hate that you haunt me like a ghost.
I hate that I need you still.
And I hate most of all that perhaps-
I always will.
-Dm 2016