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To learn :

one must hear

as they speak .
My childhood was
Fu**ed up in a way that
I can hardly feel anything
So now I keep on playing
The character I've created
In a futile attempt to fill
Such endless void
Will I ever get to see colours again...?
Written words on a page
Only scream as loud as they are read
Lost along cycles of habits that have led to nowhere
Reaching for any hand thatll reach back
And help drag me out of the hole I've created
Hell.
here,
there,
everywhere.
tha' bell,
tolls clear,
tha' mark,
sear'd deep,
in darkness,
weep,
forever,
to sleep.
She's shaking.
Unstable.
For the taking.
Swallowed in fog.
Connection is lost.
She's cut off
From herself.
She's cut off.
Can't get out.
There is no where but here.

"Disappear. Disappear."
She whispers.

"I am here. I am here."
She answers.

"Tell me." He says,
"Tell me all that you dread."

And her fears spoke louder
Than anything ever said.
Inspired from learning about polyvagal theory and the feeling of being "stuck" in the sympathetic state (fight/flight/freeze) or dorsal (collapse). Speaking about where youre at can help you bring back ventral state to the foreground, the beneficial state, the ability to have connectedness at ease.
 Sep 30 Anoeska de Wit
JRF
I am Lost

My soul resonates
with the prettiest and darkest things.
I feel and hurt
and live and rejoice
and die and hate
and forgive.
I do it all
in a whirlwind of emotions so no wonder.
No wonder
I don’t know what’s forward or backwards or even what to say
Or do next.
I am so lost.
don't worry, i love you
i love you, don't worry.
 Sep 27 Anoeska de Wit
Paige
When everything hurt
And the world faded before my eyes
Huffing for air and patching at my lungs
I looked and searched for the redundancies in my existence
Only to kiss at the realisation, that maybe the world does not deserve me
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