it’s late
or early,
depends how you
look at it,
only my hands and
heart are cold,
smoke filled garage,
rusted tools
hang themselves
in front of me,
paintless brushes,
painted brushes and
baseless screwdrivers
ashy floors and drywall
painted with holes
from fists and hockey
pucks, church pews
of razor-slit,
spray painted
by angsty young
i sit upon,
unfinished projects
are suppose to sit on
the other side of
the workbench.

You're just a ghost in my life
Coming in and out as you please
And even though I love you
I have to constantly remind myself
We died a long time ago
We're not real anymore
And we never will be.

It's alright
If you decide
To be in love
With someone else
Or that you were
Mistaken in the notion
That you somehow
Needed me

I know that my heart
Is heavy to hold,
So if your fingers
Have gone numb
Please just
Let me go
As gently as
You can.

Someone asked me what it was like doing speed
If you're wondering, it was a lot like love
I loved it the way some people love playing guitar
The way some people love their mothers
The way some people love their God
I used it to express myself, to unleash my creativity
I used it to find solace and comfort, to make me feel all better
To put a bandaid on my scraped knee and tell me to keep trying
I used it so I would have something to believe in
Something better than what I was, something that believed in me too
I loved the way it made me to soar to new heights
I always forgave it when I crashed down to new lows
I loved the way it took my fear away of talking to strangers
I forgave it when I became afraid of people who weren't even there
I loved the way I made love so confidently when I was on it
I forgave it when I had to go to bed with strangers just to afford it
I loved the way it made me love myself again
I forgave it when I couldn't recognize myself anymore
Yes, I think it was a lot like love

Did I really just say that aloud?
Is a thought I often have
when in front of a crowd.
Words that will fall from my mouth,
sound much better before coming out.  
The following effect is what I most dread,
which is when my face turns ten shades of red.  
Times like that, I'm so glad I have,
at myself, the ability to laugh.

A cracked bathroom mirror,
White powdered blood shot eyes.
The reflection seems more clear.
Or so said the knives.

This one is for seduction.
Shaft chaffed by your pulled aside thong.
Your eyes plead for destruction.
Open your throat, spread out, tell me I'm wrong.

Little kitten take my hand.
Follow me to la la land.
Hold my shoulder, touch my lips.
Wipe tears from the bruises on your hips.

Pop the cork and pour some wine.
Pull the blinds, I'll cut the line.
Slow crawling as part of your ruse.
Bite my ear while I fill your tattoos.
We can be the birds and the bees.
Hang children from the trees.
Pass the whiskey, I've got the gun.
A sting of cold metal on your tongue.
Tuck away the last portion.
Hide it somewhere no on goes.
A clothes hanger abortion.
So no one ever knows.

Just because you're feeling this way, it doesn't mean i can stay.
And the curtain starts to fall every time I say
I can't love.
No Baby, I can't love.
It's not about the planets aligning in space.
It doesn't matter if the pieces fall into place.
I can't love.
No, no, I can't love.
Baby you deserve more then my all, but every time I try to
climb it I fall.

Close your eyes tight bring your ear to my lips.
My heart stops beating and I whisper this.
I can't love.
**** no, I cant love.
They tell me love is blind but i got stitches in my eyes.
I believe all the promises and lies.
I can't love.
Baby I won't love.
Said I told you before it just hurts me more and more I can't love

A Scar
By: Yue **** Yitkbel

I walk slow
Light-feeted and soft
So as not to disturb the sentiments

I walk silently
Traceless like the wind
So as not to leave a scar