I had a moment.
When I thought about her beating me at connect four.
They way she laughed and taunted me.
I smiled, I really smiled.
And felt genuine joy about that moment.
We sat in a restaurant that didn't matter.
Playing a game that didn't matter.
What did matter was her, and the way she made me feel.
And how the memory resonated within me.
I want more of those moments.

When we can move past our pain, and grief.
And enjoy the memory.
I feel like that's what it means to honor their life.
That is what I need to do.
Stop crying.
And start smiling.

I look out into the world.
And wish I was someone else.
I wish I was everything I don't have.
Most of all.
I wish I was love.

A broken girl from a broken home.
A broken god left her all alone.
He tried to fit his pieces to make her whole.
She could stay in this place.
She lost all of her faith.
And she took the biggest part of him away.
The belt was tightly around her neck.
It is a thought he'll not forget.
Now all that is left his regret.
A broken man a broken home.
Wished the world would leave him alone

Your smile held the world.
While your green eyes.
The constellations.
Imagine looking at the world.
Without people, or animals.
Imagine looking at the sky.
Without stars.
When you took your life.
This is what I'm left with.
An empty planet
And a black sky.

She was so much of everything
Now she is nothing, but still a part of everything. Funny how it is when someone you are in love with passes on. In a way they keep living with you. Whether it is a ghost to haunt you, or an angel to guide you.
They are still there. She is still here.

They say in order to survive
a man made of sterner things
organs blood tissues marrow  
Sadness hollow darkness sorrow
bones that break
and hands that shake
am I not meant survive?
Sterner stuff is not what comprises
I cannot take all of life's surprises

So what's left of me?
I drink from this bottle
I drown in the sorrow
I pray, no more tomorrow

Would you even recognize me?
I sleep with these women
I have lost all conviction
I hope, this was all fiction.

Come back

Come back and I swear I'll save you

Her devils, took her to see the angels.
I was lost.
I am still lost.
Everything in this world is like a ******* disease.
Without you here.
Take me.
I need you near.

Doll, please, I've seen you without make-up.
Hair a mess.
Sweatpants, and a T.
And every time you manage to steal the show.
Dressed up or dressed down.
What I wouldn't give to be that glass of wine.
That traces your lips.

I can't even be free in my dreams
Demons hell bound for my life.
My blood drips from their teeth
I can't live like this.

They want to take me.
I can't live like this.
I wake.
I can't live like this.

My dear.

Everything we endure, seems to mutate us into something else.
The fact is, we will never be who we were.
Nor should we be expected to be.
We are a collection of our sins, and accomplishments.
But it doesn't mean we don't deserve to be happy.