I am a liar.
I have written all too often
Of the feel of lips against lips
Of the taste of your tongue
And the space that you left there
When you left.

But the truth is our lips
Are strangers passing in the street
Meeting with only a quick glance
Never even accidentally brushing hands
Though I've longed for just one touch.

So I leave for a week on a mission
To finally learn what connection feels like
But I gave away what was supposed to be yours
To a boy on a beach who did not know me

I was hoping my first kiss would be perfect
I was hoping my first kiss would be movie worthy
I was hoping my first kiss would be you

But now there's an empty space between my lips
And a broken hole in my heart

I still haven't found someone who can fill in either

Why do people insist in the use of figurative language
I am not as blue as the sky (simile)
This sadness is not swallowing me whole (hyperbole)
My tears are not carving new paths down the skin covering my cheeks (imagery)
The frown I wear is not eating the happiness off my face (personification)
This feeling is not a storm that won’t subside (metaphor)
I am not softly shaking so someone stops to shush my sobs (alliteration)
You can’t hear the smashing of tears on the table (onomatopoeia)
There is no way to make this pain sound beautiful
I am sad, plain and simple.
Deal with it.

You hold me close as I cry
Telling me that this may be my first heartbreak
But it won't last forever

I think back to the constant arguments
Complete with screaming, lies, and name calling
But these are not the names that flew around the playground
No these are much worse: selfish, irrelevant, useless
There were no profanities but they weren't necessary
You got your point across just fine
Telling me that my feelings didn't matter, this was about you
But I'm the selfish one right?
And you do so much for me how dare I not show my appreciation
You say that you deserve respect from me
But I lost that several verbal beatings ago
This is not the abuse that people give you pity for
But I wouldn't want that, you thought I was already looking for pity
I threatened to leave and you threatened your hurt feelings
And every time I walked away
You somehow drew me back with your 'love'

So I looked you in the eyes and said
'He wasn't the first person I loved and thought loved me too.
Because, dad, my first heartbreak was you."