There's something about your lips that I can't forget.

Looking around the table and you're not there.
Watching the football game and you're not there.
Greeting the guests and you're not there.
Making my plate and you're not there.
Telling stories from this year and you're not there.
Saying what I'm "thankful" for and you're not there.
Watching the parade and you're not there.
Laughing at Uncle Jim's joke and you're not there.
It's hard to celebrate what you're thankful for, when the one you're most thankful for isn't there.

Just wanted to tell y'all that I'm so thankful for all of you. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't get the opportunity to share my work every day. Every like, repost, comment, even view has been a blessing to me. I hope you all recognize how lucky we are to have a place that we can get away from everything going on and share our life through paragraphs and freely do what we love.
Have a blessed Thanksgiving. You are all amazing and beautiful whether you think so or not. I love you all<3

The song we once loved now a funeral song.
The sweater you used to wear when it was cold can no longer keep you warm.
The last voicemail I left just a cry for help that will never be heard.
The words I needed to say are locked in a safe that no one knows the combination too.
This feeling of regret drowns me like the time my father threw me in the pool to teach me how to swim.
The taste of coffee on my lips can never rid the taste of your mouth.
My heart is beating in a monotone tempo. It doesn't skip beats anymore.
My stomach only handles nothing.
My body feels less and less everyday.
The empty bottles are speaking for themselves.
I don't want to live like this.
I don't want to live at all.

I like you.
Please don't treat me like a chess game.
I've already had my heart defined like a chess piece.
I care too much already.
Don't make me regret counting on this to work.
Don't make me regret you.

I don't know what made me come back to you.
I don't know if it was the time I saw you kissing my best friend
or if it was the time you told me all your love was a lie
was it the time you told me I was too fat for you so I should "go anorexic"
or was it when you said "go take more pills"
was it the time you poured hot coffee all over me in the coffee shop during an argument
or the time you ignored me for 3 months, never telling me that you were okay or where you were or who you were with and what you were doing
was it the time you commented "ugly af" on one of my instagram pictures
or the time you threw a pan at me
was it the time you said "I don't love you because you have no *** in you"
or the time you punched me in the face because I disagreed with you

I don't know why I kept going back, but all I know is you hurt my heart more than you ever hurt my body and I don't know if you care but because of you I don't think I can ever love without the fear of dying.

I'm so tired of crying over you.
I'm so tired of you being here even though you're gone.