truth lies in the heart
and there is no denying
that sincerity is bred from within
a space unidentifiable
and goodness is a virtue
impossible to clone
compassion for fellowmen
comes from teachings
of old folks of wisdom
and assimilating it comes
from a sense of responsibility
for the welfare of others

in other words,
love of self is placed second
and what is done be done
despite the pain of suffering
and never complain
nor put to shame
circumstances of some unknown god
who neither had a hand
in the goings-on of this world

for years as i metamorphosed
i watched you
the butterfly within the cocoon
all your beauty radiating
to those inflicted by so great a pain
and their suffering became a little less

because of you
i retained my belief in the human race
because of you
i learned to conquer my doubts
because of you
i believe we can still be free
and because of you
i know ,it is good to be alive..

Dead, black lips feel the empty tears of disappointment.
I miss the warm glow of your words on my heart.
Little have I known the day's grace,
But it makes me happy.
I just want to be happy.
And in a perfect world
We would be arm in arm, but more than human.
I would know your call was mine, and we'd sing together.

Arm in arm, greater than the galaxies.
You'd guide me through foreign lands and seas that would have jubilation intoxicate me;
resuscitation.

Take me down that cosmic castle, show me what it means to live.

I'll stare at the blank, black, blanket of a heaven until you return

i'm a sunset
i have my days where i am not the brightest
i have my days where i never want to stop
i have my days where i am pale and calm
i have my days where i am bright pink and booming
   the days i beg to be seen
i am not always the most beautiful
i am not always noticed
sometimes i am shadowed by dark clouds hanging over my head
sometimes i am unobstructed and full of majesty
i am not always the best, you will not always like me
i am a sunset
i am temporary
i disappear and am born again

We will forget the times I breathed your name into the sky
and made it rain.

The thought of you will become a ***** verse in the anthology of
apologies I figured in my sleep.

I will forget the touch of your skin
in the way you forgot how to love.

This is to the camera, that sees me as nothing but
Delicate bones and pearly whites
My essence captured through awkward captions and
My worth measured by likes and heart bytes
A photograph carefully composed
Of a girl with her true thoughts [boxed up tight]

This is to the boys who see me as nothing but
Geometric shapes
Circles and curves and parabolas
**** and *** and legs and waist
And an irrelevant concave where my brain should be
My “radical ideas” make me a butterface

This is to the academy, that sees me as nothing but
3.97 and a good SAT score
A scholar of great potential
That will donate millions or more
As an honored alumni
Of the greatest institution in the world

This is to society, that sees me as nothing but
A golden gal who always colored inside the lines
Mrs. Goody-Two-Shoes, no fire in my soles

“She’s never insubordinate, ‘cause she’s never been inclined”
Determined but docile
Go ahead and assume I’m not the rebellious kind

This is to myself, because I see that
My mind is a kaleidoscope of technicolor dreams
Ideas colliding like specks in sunbeams  
And I’ll call myself a feminist or riot grrl if I **** well please
You are not my dictator or an office label machine
It’s 2015; I’ll be whatever the hell I want to be.

I remember the day I first saw you.
You send shivers down my spine.
You're attractive.
But too loud.
Too showy.
Just screaming for every girl's attention.

Yesterday,i saw you again.
You were sad and discontented.
And no longer loud and screaming for attention.
I grew selfish out of fear.

Often I find myself trying to relive the moments again.
But it will never be the same.
So I hold you so close to me.
Afraid of being alone,
I couldn't let you go.
Now.
You're nowhere near.

May I adore you darling.
For as long as I can.
May we light the nights afire
and curb the day's hot sun.
To remember the passion of our love.

when my time comes
it comes
and I will gladly leave
to those who go on living
the task of sorting out
the mess I have accumulated
over years

let them discover
not only the stamp collection
the bank accounts
but also unknown niches
of their father’s/friend’s/husband’s life
the words unspoken
scribbled on some paper
thoughts never shared
for lack of time or opportunity
the letters to a friend of yore
emails to many people
hints of potential
love affairs that maybe never happened
ideas to change the world
into a better place

here I am
  now with a 7 before my years
envisioning life after death

a sign of vanity
perhaps
or an expression of despair

I am not sure

it may just be
the fleeting thoughts
on a clear winter evening
when cold creeps slowly
but insistently
into your bones

reminding you

   of all that cold space
   in our universe
   how it grows larger by the second

making you wonder
if it has a plan
and if that plan
includes you
speculating
about your destiny

        * *

May it always feel like this
May it be electricity that streams
through everything with
blood-rocking sweetness
May it never stop filling me
with what I cannot for the life of me
put into words…
that clear and soft thing,
that gasping blooming thing,
that glow in the deep deep core of me,
where you live