I just don't know
I can only think about how it makes me feel

I will never know the word numb again

What is more raw than going there?
Let's go there

I want to think about IT

You giving your storms to another bird
You giving your oceans to another ship

They can only survive you

The dark separates the light from itself
But the dark is how to find the light
It always happens before the light
Like a porch waiting for the sun to dry itself off
You have to walk through it
You can't turn back
Time never does
The earth rotates the same way

North is north until the curve makes it south

Dark is dark
Until it's not

Because what happened, happened
You already were there

It's gonna repeat itself

You have to adjust to it's appearance its not going away you can't forget it's you or instead what happened to you your choice pick one

All the pages are soaked
You wrote them
Then tried to burn them
But your tears put out the fire
That's why you cry
To put out the fire
Put it out
Or let it burn
But do you want to burn

Or be a survivor?

How do you do it?
How do you forget, move on?
How to you forget spending so many sunrises with a person?
A person who forced you out of your shell?
A person who, first the first time in four years, seemed like they
    actually cared?
A person who for once made you feel like you could amount to
    something?
Like you didn't have to force yourself into this cookiecutter image?
How do you forget someone who would talk to you untill 2, 3, 4
    every night?
How do you forget the soft, warmness of their sweatpants when
    you were freezing?
Someone who would drive out in the middle of the night just to
    see you?
How do you forget the first person to actually chase you down and
    wrap themselves around you until your wrist stopped bleeding?

The Thought of growing older to become nothing.
The embarrassment of failure even when you try something.
Something to make it in life, become a "big shot".
You think you pass, you've made great effort, but you're taken back.
The fear of failure itself allows you to fail.
Being laughed at in the end, no longer head but tail.
There was a time I use to be head,
but now all that's dead.
They lied! They lied! TRY TRY and SUCCEED.
Scholarships, Ivy League, rich, fast cars, to which I feed,
My mind on to be,
They lied, no chance for me.
I've been trying for a long time, Failed me yet.
I study really hard, feel good, still fail? I don't get.
An Ivy League School was where I placed by bet.
but now it seems like there're change of plans, no cars, no money, no fast jet.
I make it known to everyone, my friends and family from now.
If i end up on the road side, no education, and eat with cows.
For education and a life worth living cannot be bought.
I tend to take action of my suicidal thought.

IF FEELING DEPRESSED AFTER  READING THIS POEM ,PLEASE ENSURE TO READ http://perfecttruths.blogspot.com/2014/03/a-word-from-wise.html

Hipocrisy.
Everyday I wake up breathing the same air as those I call friends.
They know thats not what they are, who they are. It'll never end,
The long days of critisism, false accusations, random assumptions.
Oh don't pretend like thats who you are, your being a complete fool.
Don't think it makes you look biggger, intriguing, authorative or cool.
Hypocrisy.
Dont try to look for excuses for your behavior,
Why sympathy and popularity is what you crave for.
You have fooled many but the biggest is yourself.
You try to think of situations where you aren't the bad person,
But it all leads back to you not making any sense at all, again just you not being yourself.
Hypocrisy.
You cry to find a reason to cry.
This isn't who you are, just a simple soul looking for something to stand by.
Well it's funny your told to look in the mirror, the way you steam like tea,
Because whenever I look in the mirror hypocrisy stares at me.

Darkness seeps between my fingertips
Even when my hands are clutched to my face as tightly as I can when I am crying alone
Fingernails digging into my skin
To remind myself that it is real
Sleeves pulled over my fingertips
So no one is forced to see the hideous things
Especially me
The way a murderer's mother shuts her son's old bedroom door at night when he has been jailed
To shut out the memories
Concealing what is unpleasant
At night I don't wear makeup
So when I wake up at 2AM to use the washroom
I keep the lights off
And fumble blindly through the black air to find the door handle
So I don't have to look at myself
It's getting worse everyday
A new kind of pain
And I don't understand
Why it hurts so much
But I think I'm going to stop telling people about it
I'm going to stop mentioning it no matter how much it hurts
I'm going to stop being self-deprecating in public
Because it just comes across vain, self-pitying, annoying, attention-seeking and fake
I want people to stop telling me I'm pretty
I want them to stop lying to me
Even if it just to spare my feelings
So I will stop putting them in situations
Where they must lie to me to be polite
I'm just going to be silent now
They already have to know how ugly I am on the outside
No one needs to know
What an ugly mind I have