There is a song that I sing tonight.
Every night...

A song made out
of the sighs in my breaths.

Words heavy and laden
from the weight of my thoughts.

A tune forlorn - from the wrenching
of the heart.

A song that I’ve taken to.
A song entitled “Melancholy”.

.

Nevermind....
Forget about this soul grind...
So much wasted energy on songs about stars..
So much imagination seep through these light scars..

Nevermind....
Was I so blind...?
I can't believe I created fractals of shadows and light for you..
I was blind and never saw things true..

Nevermind....
No more sad darkness, just shine..
I am free from all of this sadness..
I have found my way through all of this madness..

Nevermind....
Some of the time..
That I set aside for you..
I am one in my mind now and no longer two..

Nevermind....
I no longer feel confined..
Thank you for not missing me..
And showing me what I needed to see..

Finally trying doors.
      Looking for spaces that would have me.
        Looking for spaces that’d fit.

Most knobs...
                       Cold.

   They haven’t been touched in a while.
I’ve never bothered to try them.

     They’d probably would open up to empty spaces.

How fitting...
     An empty space for an empty soul.

The first crush she had
was unluckily me.

From beyond the specs
her eyes were sad
yet silently pleading
someone found them sweet too.

Braving all her shyness
she penned me three sentences
jotted with immature hands
dipped in the fountain of romance:

How are you. I'm fine. Love you.

That night I took them to the streetlight
and read like a whole long story.

I never replied.

I only wished
she read it right
at the turn of page.

I put off writing this,
For then it becomes,
Real,
Like a scared kid with a,
Shadow in the room,
I chose to hide from it,
But pictures of pieces,
Still loom,
The surround sound sad songs,
Have all started rhyming the same,
And the soliloquies have all gone
Silent,
I'm just trying to be happy for you,
But even when thoughts drift away,
The feelings linger,
Crooked parkway signs,
And certain looks,
In young lovers eyes,
Sounds,
Bring it all back,
It is real,
And I'm just trying to be happy for you,
Memorial officials to weddings,
In dances of words,
No one,
But you,
Will understand,
Promises of undone cigarettes,
With entwined mountain town dreams,
And names like June,
Prayers in a house that reads,
"Isnt death always at a funeral"
We will move on from fantasy and foreplay,
Because It is real,
And,
I will be happy for you tomorrow,
Today,
I just need to be sad.