I said I would not write about you
But here I am, once more.

It's all because I banned you from my heart
Yet you managed to stay in my mind
Crawling back every night
To steal my reasoning away from me
Leaving me blind
Making me follow my emotions
Until I reach you, once more.


-FreeMind

I'm tired of telling the millionth person
the same story of how love died
& they pull out a pad and pen
trying to fill in the blank,
cracking the secret formula,
of why it happened:

"You two weren't compatible"

"You need to love yourself more"

"She wasn't the right one for you"

"You weren't the right one for her"

"It was just young love"

"These things just happen"

Everyone has their own perspective on it
& nobody really
listens.

Because I don't need to know why;
if I did I would be stuck in the past,
and trying to fix it.
I'm not.

I just need to know how to keep living
when every time my heart beats
it hurts because the one who I gave it to
is missing from my life

How do I not lose my breath when I think of her?
How do I quit having dreams about her?
How can I move on from losing my best friend because I lost control of my mental health and shut her out?
How does neglect become undone when you are removed from their life?

She was 7 years of happiness in my life; not a long time to many, but remember I am only 23 years old.
I grew into a man with her stitched to my heart.

So please don't try and tell me why it fell apart.
Please just tell her I love her if you see her.

Something is lost and I choose not to look for it
But as each day passes I finding I am missing it.
I can live without it but I merely exist.
A tree exists, a bird and fish exist
Have I the same type of existence?
No thought for love or joy or tomorrow ?
Perhaps !