Never could they gently part,
always forcefully, but the gentle
touch was needed you would find.

It was the gem sitting in-between,
soft, delicately waiting for the touch.
But for some it was to hard to locate.

Precious was the this gem between,
for those who could feel its moistness
knew they had found the jewel in-between.

Once I was the lying kind
Whatever lie came across my mind
I'd stick rock solid hard with it
To the point of going down with the ship

If there was a chance that I'd get caught
I'd double down on that thought
Fabricate till my lips turned blue
Swear up and down that it was true

I would build so tall a tale
Twice the size of the Eiffel Tower
Having most there wondering
If it was French that I was spewing

Keeping people all confused
On if the lie was really true
Giving me more of a chance
To add a few more lies to it

You might up and wonder why
I would tell so many lies
Was the truth not good enough
Was it the thrill inside the bluff

The older now I seem to get
My mind slides as much as slips
Making it harder to misconstrue
So now I only tell the truth

You do believe that too...don't you?

I can't eat Ramen.
Which *****, cuz I love Ramen!
The broth is so good!


Curley fries are great.
They're better than normal fries.
Nobody knows why.


DVD's aren't dead.
I like the commentary.
That's why I buy them.


Thesauruses help,
But is using them cheating?
I will never know.


Okay, I'm done now.
Seriously, you can go.
They're just dumb haikus!

I stood there a glare of stone,
                       others heaving.

Blaming the next to them for
this blasphemous action....

As each floor was reached

"You all should be ashamed,

Everyone looking red faced...

My daughter and I were the
last ones off.
She looks at me and smiles.

"Silent but deadly Daddy,

Laughing out loud, she says;
"I just left the next occupant
                               a little gift,

**"Takes after her Daddy that one...

A gray hippo lived in the zoo
It was so stressful it turned him blue
The Giraffes laughed at his skin so blue
That only made him bluer times two

Now the Lion was wise but a little slow
That's why he wound up as the star of the show
He and Hippo were playing a game of solitaire
While the Lion played fleas were biting him everywhere
Hippo ate chocolate cake
That the tourist threw over the gate
Wise old Lion said ,
"You better watch your weight
Your getting a little thick in the hip ."

"Humph !" , said Hippo ,
"Why do you think they call us
Hip-po-***-a-mus ."